Complications
by picric drea
Summary: We all have choices to make in life. What happens when you choose wrong?
1. Prologue

Hello, all! Okay so I took a small break from writing, ::sing-song:: I know you missed me! Yea, right. Any-hoo, I'm back with a new one, that's technically been on my laptop for ages, I've just been too lazy to post. I was inspired by the song, "Then What" by Clay Walker, at least for this bit. Then it just took on a mind of its own. But, now I'm rambling so read and enjoy.

Standard disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, setting and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Prologue

There was a crisp chill in the pre-dawn air. The surrounding forest was serenely quiet, the crickets having stopped their chirping and the birds not quite awake to start their song. The lake was as still as a pane of glass until the casting of his line broke its surface. He watched the ripples until they disappeared then sighed and shifted in his seat.

This was supposed to be his sanctuary. It was the one place that was his alone; where he could have peace and sort out his thoughts. For the last few weeks (or months if he was really honest) that sense of peace had eluded him. His thoughts and emotions were so jumbled he didn't even know where to begin to straighten it out. He felt that his life was out of his control, as though he had spun off his axis. His eyes lifted to the east, watching the blossoming sunrise. As he observed the sky morph from midnight blue to royal purple to warm pink to red-orange as the ball of fire finally crested over the horizon he figured he could at least be truthful with himself.

His life was indeed in a tailspin, but it was one he had set in motion. Here in the still of the dawn, with no witnesses aside from the trout ignoring his bait he could freely admit his mistakes. He ran a tired hand over his unshaven face. The grass had truly seemed so much greener on the other side. He knew what he had, what he had cherished for nearly half of his life. It was comfortable, familiar, he knew what to expect…most of the time. He smirked; of course she did have those moments when he felt like he was walking a tight rope over shark-infested waters. He knew everything there was to know about her and she him; they fit together like puzzle pieces. When they met it was as though each of them had found a part of themselves that they hadn't known was missing. His mother hated her, but his sisters had loved her from their first meeting, and later she was the obvious preference of their nieces and nephews. He had everything he had ever wanted, needed, or wished for. He was a neurosurgeon at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country, he lived in a fantastic brownstone overlooking Central Park, and most importantly he had the love of his life, a beautiful intelligent woman, who could be hard as nails, call him on his crap, and go toe-to-toe with any man, yet he had the privilege of seeing her at her most caring, vulnerable, and passionate. He was the envy of every male and some of the female attendings in the hospital, but at some point it wasn't enough. He found himself wanting more.

_Well I got a good friend who's got a good life  
He's got [two pretty children] and a real nice wife  
But he never seems quite satisfied  
I said I know what's on your mind  
But you better think about it before you cross that line  
The grass aint always greener on the other side  
_

He began to immerse himself more in his work, searching for what was missing. He was appointed head of neurosurgery and was invited to perform surgeries all over the world. He had multiple speaking engagements and was asked to lead various clinical trials. His wife was rapidly rising to the top of her field as well; they were the ultimate power couple; the ones everyone aspired to be. The only thing missing was the pitter patter of little feet, but the subject was thoroughly discussed and it was ultimately decided that they (she) simply weren't (wasn't) ready for that step yet.

So to pass the time until they (she) were (was) ready to take that plunge, he threw himself even more into his work. He listened with polite smiles to all the proud fathers raving about what geniuses their children were because they were granted early acceptance to Manhattan's most exclusive private schools. He would bite back the retort that any child of his and Addie's would make their child look like a dunce. Instead he congratulated the proud papas and scheduled another surgery.

He didn't notice exactly when he started withdrawing from his wife, he just noticed that things just weren't the same. He knew that he was having his best friend spend maybe a little too much time with his wife, but he wanted her occupied while he found whatever he was searching for. He provided her a place holder, if you will. Of course he didn't mean for him to take his place everywhere, especially not his OWN BED, but apparently he wasn't very clear.

But, on the bright side, it gave him his freedom, which is what he thought he wanted. He was free to find out what he was missing. So he moved across the country, and took up with an emotionally stunted girl who knew absolutely nothing about him. Someone who couldn't tell what he was thinking just by looking in his eyes. Someone who put him on a pedestal and felt he could do no wrong. Someone who took him home after a few well-chosen words as opposed to making him wait eight long, Long, LOOOOOONNG months. So he lost himself in the fantasy. He was the charming, yet quirky neurosurgeon without a past that lived in a trailer on an amazing piece of land, and had annoyingly loud sex with his intern. No wife. No brownstone overlooking Central Park. No dreams of curly-headed little boys with her eyes or a little red-head in pigtails with his smile.

Now, he's not sure exactly how long he thought the fantasy would last, but he knew it wasn't over. She was not the kind of woman to let things end as they had. He knew she was coming. So when he looked up that night and saw her standing there in head-to-toe black with her head slightly tipped to the side, her eyebrow arched and looking bold as sin (an apt description for her), he wasn't surprised. He was pissed, but not surprised. He felt his breath catch in his throat but the reasons were two-fold. One: He knew his happy charade had just been blown to smithereens and Two: She looked mouth-wateringly good. After fifteen years his body was trained to respond to hers and it was all he could do during their banter to keep from dragging her to the nearest room with a flat surface and a lock and having his way with her. Of course looking at her face and seeing flashes of the back of his best friend's head provided the same effect as taking a leap in the Arctic Sea, which allowed him to keep his composure.

It was a given that he would take her back; it was the right thing to do. He would selflessly sacrifice his own happiness to take back his adulterous satanic bitch of a wife who betrayed him with his best friend since kindergarten and broke his heart. Because he was THAT guy. He was McDreamy. And, you know, everyone ignored the part where he drug her through the mud, called her names and treated her like shit, but of course that was only when he wasn't ignoring her to openly flirt with his mistress in front of the entire hospital. And she being who she was she took it all with perfect grace. Even tried to be friends with the girl.

What surprised him though was that the girl still wanted anything to do with him. He completely neglected to tell her about his WIFE and made her the dirty mistress, but after about two days, she was okay with it. She even begged him to pick her. Which admittedly he found a bit flattering because the red-head? She would never beg. Yet, even after he picked the wife, the girl was still there, with the lost, longing, and pleading looks. The other side of the fence looked better and greener with each passing day, especially compared to the rocky, uneven field he was currently plowing. To be honest prom was really only a matter of time.

Then he had done it. He had broken himself completely free of the bonds that held him. She didn't give him a choice this time, she just filed. And he was ecstatic he had finally jumped the fence. No more leash choking him. He was free to play and frolic in bathtubs and on-call rooms. The bastard flew out and began to pursue the red-head, but he really wasn't worried. He knew they wouldn't work out. And when the ex-best friend came and nearly brokenly confessed that she had cheated on him it was all he could do not to laugh in his face. It seemed karma was restoring balance to the world. The next thing he knew, she was gone for good. Looking for sunnier pastures.

_Well I aint saying that looking's a crime  
Well I've done my share from time to time  
It dont mean that you gotta take that leap  
When you're standin' on the brink  
Before you jump you gotta step back and think  
There's price for ever promise you dont keep  
_

Unfortunately he began to examine his new surroundings more closely and learned it wasn't actually as green as it looked. He also found hidden roots that tripped him and land mines that blew in his face every time he thought they were making progress. Their relationship was nowhere near the smooth sail he had imagined. She seemed to fight him at every turn, and it was nothing like the sexy banter he was used to, but instead frustratingly drawn-out spats that didn't seem to have a point. The relationship, if it could be called that, was sucking him dry. He was bending over backwards for her, including turning down his dream position. The one he had worked so hard to achieve. The only bright point was the sex.

But, they persevered. She sought therapy and eventually gave into him. The girl was certainly no church-goer, so they decided on a simple outdoor ceremony, one worlds away from his first nuptials. As he looked into those pale blue eyes surrounded by flat blonde hair and repeated after the minister a flash of red caught his eye. There she sat in the very last row. Though he had personally mailed the invitation to LA, he never expected her to come. He knew he certainly couldn't watch her marry another, but he constantly underestimated her. As he locked eyes with her despite her oversized dark sunglasses, he felt his heart clench and his stomach drop as he watched a single, solitary tear roll down her porcelain face. He had always hated to see her cry and felt an urge to comfort her. That was the moment they were pronounced husband and wife, and the waifish blonde jumped into his arms enthusiastically kissing him. When he was able to glance back at her chair he found it empty.

Empty.

That's how he'd been feeling ever since. They had been married six months, but were still living in the house with the other interns turned residents, because she wasn't ready to move. The blueprints which had been created with someone else in mind were gathering dust in his desk. His ring was dull, without any engravings and felt heavy on his hand. He felt as though he was suffocating, even the sex had become routine. He missed the connection, being able to express his thoughts with just a look. To have some one give him what he needed without having to ask for it. As he thought over the past four years he realized he had given away everything that he had to step through the looking glass and now, all he wanted to do was go back.

_Do what you want, do what you wish  
It's your life but remember this  
There's bound to be some consequences  
Sneaking under other fences_

Then what, what you gonna do  
When the new wears off and the old shines through  
And it aint really love and it aint really lust  
You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust  
Then what, where you gonna turn  
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn  
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt  
Then what

* * *

Alright, so there's the prologue. I promise I'm going somewhere with this. So now you review and then I post more. That's how this relationship works; it's a give-and-take. ;-D


	2. Chapter 1

Okay, so the time in between posts was a little longer than I anticipated, but I blame life. For the last month it has sucked to be me, but now I'm on vacation and feeling much better. So, now that I've got that out the way, please enjoy my much delayed update.

Disclaimer: Not mine. See Prologue.

Chapter 1

Sunlight streamed cheerfully though the window, gliding silently across the plush carpet and alighting on the faces of the occupants of the bed, currently resting in peaceful slumber. The red head shifted at the bright glare beyond her eyelids and the strong arms encircling her waist tightened in response pulling her closer to his chest. A soft smile formed on her lips as she finally gave in and opened her eyes to the new day. She heard soft chirping so she carefully climbed out of bed, pausing for a moment to ensure that she did not awaken her bedmate, and crept to the window. Just outside the glass she could see several beautiful birds feasting on her recently installed bird feeder. She lightly placed her fingertips against the translucent barrier as she leaned closer and her smile grew bigger at the sight. The sigh that escaped her lips was not one of frustration, but contentment. It had taken quite some time, and several relocations, but she had finally done it. She was getting on with her life.

She had moved on; out of the land of rain, depression, and despair (at least for her) and into the sun and fun. Of course initially, that was a line of total crap, but as she settled and adjusted her situation improved. She reconnected with her old friends, allowed herself to relax (which was easier when she wasn't being called Satan daily), and focused on herself. She re-built herself from the bottom up, this time focusing on what made her happy, and not what was best for _them_. And it seemed that once she re-discovered the Addison that didn't need any man; the one who was strong all on her own, things seemed to fall into place. Gone was the weepy masochist, who sat by passively and watched her husband chase a twelve-year-old all over the hospital and who took every sling and barb he threw at her because she felt she deserved it. She bid a sweet farewell to the woman who begged for a man to care about her, and embraced one who took life on her own terms, and those who didn't like it could take a flying leap.

Her gaze ticked to the beach when movement caught her eye. She watched as a father and son pair attempted to coax their kite into taking flight and a bittersweet smile crossed her face. The little boy looked to be no older than four, with a mop of dark curly hair and a bright smile whose sparkle reached her even at her high vantage point. Her hand unconsciously found her abdomen, as all her missed opportunities ran through her head. He had begged, pleaded, and demanded children, becoming more and more frustrated each time she answered in the negative. She had eventually stopped giving reasons why, as he had stopped caring what they were. She knew he simply thought her selfish for not giving in to him, and giving him the family he so desperately wanted. When she tried to explain her reasoning, he would dismiss her concerns with a smile and a caress, and state that they weren't her parents, they would be fine. However, as much as they talked about her past and childhood, and as much as he held her and soothed her and empathized with her, he could never really understand. He didn't have to distract his mother, so she wouldn't see his father sneaking off with the nanny. He didn't have to sit and watch his parents placidly sip martinis while they hurled scathing remarks at each other under the guise of discussing the neighbor's most recent gathering. No, the Shepherd's were a loud, hot-tempered, boisterous bunch, who had passionate screaming matches and a family of five children. She remembered that during their first fight, she had surprised herself when she had yelled, ranted, and gestured right along with him. It had been so freeing to argue in that manner and he'd began to joke that she was as fiery as her hair. Given her childhood, she really hadn't considered having children herself until she met him. With him she had truly felt loved, safe, and cared for; she had found the environment that she would want to bring children into, but she was still hesitant, afraid that it was a façade. And it seemed she was right.

She gazed once more at the pair, smiling as the dragon finally took to the air causing the little boy to raise his arms in triumph and throw his head back in a soundless laugh, as his father looked on indulgently. She turned her back on the two and her regrets, choosing instead to focus on what was going right in her life, starting with the man who was currently sprawled over her bed. Her eyes softened as they trailed over his well-muscled torso, his muscles rippling as he shifted in sleep. Her mouth quirked as she considered what a contradiction he was; he epitomized masculine strength with his well-toned body and hidden guns, yet he was nothing but soft and gentle with her, ensuring that each time they came together she was fully satisfied and she had no doubt that she was the only woman on his mind. Outside the bedroom he made he feel just as loved and desired, he treated he like a queen, and after her most recent relationships, she soaked it up like a sponge.

She stealthily crept back into bed and snuggled up against him. He automatically wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, smiling softly in his sleep. She gazed up into his face, features softened in sleep. She lightly traced his features, marveling that this man could make her feel so secure. He began to stir and his warm eyes met hers. He leaned in and captured her lips in a sensuous kiss.

"Mmm," she murmured as he pulled away, "Good morning."

He smiled and pushed her scarlet locks from her face, "Good morning," he replied, continuing to stroke her hair stare into her eyes.

"What?" she demanded, laughing.

"You're beautiful."

She blushed and pushed at his chest, "Shut up."

He grabbed her hand and held it to his heart. "You know I'm right, that's why you're blushing."

"Well, it's easy to feel beautiful when you get such a nice wake up call."

"Addison, I -" he paused and looked into her eyes, the emotion neither of them were quite ready to express wrapping around them like a warm blanket. He cleared his throat and continued, "I would love to wake you up that way every morning."

She smiled and pulled his head down to hers, initiating another kiss. He gently rolled them, pressing her into the soft mattress as his hands began to creep under her silk nightgown, causing a soft giggle to escape her lips and a matching grin to slide across his own. She leaned away slightly, running her nails along his back, "I'm going to be late for work, aren't I?"

He leaned back in to tease her lips with his tongue. "Oh, most definitely."

As the sunlight poured over the lovers locked in a passionate embrace, she knew that for the first time in a long time, she was truly happy.

**************

Derek sat at his kitchen table staring down into his cup of coffee, the gloom from the storm raging outside seeming to permeate his very being. Here he was several years later, different state, different house, different wife and he still wasn't happy. So, now he had to figure out a way to make the best of the situation he was in. He did love Meredith that wasn't the problem. They were good together. It's just that he once again couldn't help feeling like something was missing. The pieces just did not align perfectly. He kept thinking back to the last time he saw _her_. It was Christmas and he and Meredith were spending it with his family in New York.

_Derek was leaning against the counter in Macy's trying to stifle his sigh as his mother and Meredith were currently gushing over some item he had long since lost interest in. He was checking his watch to figure how much longer they would probably be there, when he felt a tingle along the back of his neck. It was a sensation he hadn't experienced in quite some time. He rubbed his neck unconsciously as he looked around for the source. It didn't take him long to spot her flaming red hair about 30 ft from his position. Her hair had grown back to the length he preferred. She hadn't straightened it today and the soft curls cascaded down her back. He ignored the uncomfortable fluttering in his chest, chalking it up to the surprise of seeing her. After a few seconds she turned from the counter and they locked eyes. They held the stare for several seconds, and then she finally offered a small smile. With a quick glance over his shoulder to ensure that his wife and mother were still busy, he ambled his way over to her. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he stood before her. "Hey."_

"_Hi."_

_He glanced at the bags in her hands. "A little last minute shopping?"_

_She grinned as she shifted the bags in her hands, "Yeah, they were sold out in the LA stores, so I just picked it up here. Oh, hey, did the kids get their gifts?"_

"_Yeah, they did; thanks. Although you know, you really didn't have to…"_

"_Derek, I divorced you, not them. Besides, it just felt wrong not to."_

"_Well, thanks. I know they'll love them." He took a moment to let his gaze wash over her, taking in her long green sweater dress, cinched at the waist with a wide black belt, which showed off her curves to perfection, and her stiletto Manolo boots. "You really look wonderful, Addison."_

_She rewarded him with another soft smile. "Thanks." She looked over his shoulder at his mother and Meredith. "They seem to be getting along well."_

_He looked back and glanced at them. "Yeah, Mom loves her-" He stopped as he turned around and met her eyes again. They dimmed slightly, before she averted her gaze._

_She cleared her throat as her iPhone began vibrating. She glanced at the screen briefly before returning it to her purse. "Well, I should get going." _

"_Right." He shifted uncomfortably. "It was really good seeing you."_

"_Yeah, you too." _

_She moved to walk away when he impulsively pulled her into a hug. She was initially surprised, but soon relaxed and reciprocated. He rubbed her back gently, noting how she still fit perfectly into his arms. As she pulled away, she briefly glanced over his shoulder, then cupped his cheek and looked meaningfully into his eyes. She took a deep breath, "Your girl is lovely, Hubble."_

_Derek tilted his head and frowned slightly as he mulled over her words. He shook his head, "I don't get it."_

_Addison smirked, "And you never did." With that she turned and sashayed away without a backwards glance._

It wasn't until two months later, when he walked in on Meredith and Izzie watching Sex and the City that he understood the reference. Derek ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He truly had no reason to be unhappy, he should just stop looking for problems and get on with his life. It wasn't as though some magical solution was going to fall into his lap.

"Good morning," Meredith greeted as she entered the room. "Oh, hey, this came for you yesterday. Looks important," she stated dropping a thick envelope on the table in front of him. It tilted off the edge and slid into his lap. With one raised eyebrow, he slowly picked up the envelope and turned it over. The postmark said Los Angeles. Curiosity peaked, he quickly ripped into the packet. It was an invitation to speak at a ceremony honoring one of his medical school professors. This mentor conveniently enough now resided in LA. Derek couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. It seemed the winds of fate were blowing in his direction once again.

"Good news?" Derek glanced up at the blonde, who leaned against the counter cradling a steaming cup of coffee.

"Uh, yeah, actually. Jack Sparrow, one of my old mentors, is retiring and they want me to speak at the ceremony. He's actually the one who really encouraged me to pursue neurosurgery. I was always interested, but he convinced me I could do it." _Well, Jack and Addie._ "We used to go out fishing every once in a while." Derek looked back down at the invitation and smirked. "I can't believe he's actually retiring. We used to joke that he'd probably just keel over in the OR one day." He couldn't believe his luck; he knew Addie would be there, as Jack was her advisor as well. She wouldn't miss this for the world. And maybe if he could just talk to her, he could figure out what was wrong with him. Maybe they could…

"When's the ceremony?"

"Oh, um," he glanced back at the invite, "It's two months from now. I should probably reserve the plane tickets today. I definitely need to ask the chief for the time off."

"Hey, why don't we stay out there a few days, make a long weekend of it. It's been awhile since we've had some true alone time," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"W-we?" He blurted before he could stop himself. He cleared his throat, "I mean, you want to come? Really, it'll just be a bunch of boring speeches by random people about someone you've never met. You'll probably be bored out of your skull."

"Maybe," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him from behind, "But I'll be there with you. I'm sure we can find something to do to entertain ourselves. Besides, it'll give me a chance to wear the new bikini I just bought."

Derek tilted his head and smiled at her weakly, "Sounds great, babe." He pecked her cheek, swallowing his sigh.

* * *

So, before I get the comments, allow me to point out that I know the phrase is originally from "The Way We Were," but I found it more likely that they would be watching SATC. I plan to have the next update posted much sooner than it took me this time, but of course reviews will speed the process. ;-D


	3. Chapter 2

Hey guys, remember me? It's been awhile, but here's the next chapter. Forgive the tardiness, but my life has sucked balls lately. I found a little time to write again and release some stress so here we are. Enjoy.

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer.

Addison breezed into the office Monday morning with an aura of happiness. "Good morning everyone! I have fresh fruit, muffins, and smoothies."

"What the hell is she so happy about?" Violet mumbled into her coffee.

"This is Addison when she's getting laid on a regular basis." Sam mumbled under his breath, while reaching for a strawberry banana smoothie.

"Shut up, I heard that." Addison arranged her goodies on the table, "There is nothing wrong with being in a good mood."

"A good mood is one thing, you on the other hand look as though you're about to burst into song," Cooper stated as he grabbed a blueberry muffin and smoothie. "You're freakin' Mary Poppins."

Addison grabbed the muffin before he could take a bite, with a raise of her eyebrow. "What?" he protested.

"You don't insult me, and then get to taste my muffins," she said with a hand on her hip. Pete, who had just walked in, blinked several times and then turned on his heel and left.

Addison sighed and looked back to Cooper, who had an innocent look on his face. "It wasn't an insult. I, for one, happen to love Mary Poppins. She's a paradigm of chastity and virtue." He adopted a boyish grin, "Can I have the muffin back please?"

Addison fixed him with a look, but tossed him the muffin back anyway.

"Alright," Sam cleared his throat, "if we're all through discussing Addison's sex life, maybe we can get down to business."

Addison stuck her tongue out at him, and then opened her chart to prepare for the day ahead.

A few hours and a delivery later Addison was back in her office. She settled back into her leather executive style chair and glanced towards the picture resting on her desk. It was a picture of her and Kevin taken at the policeman's ball. _We really do make a good couple_. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the thought. She was startled out of her reverie by the ringing of her office phone. "Hello? This is Dr. Montogmery."

"Hey, you," came the sweet voice from the other end of the line.

Her smile immediately brightened. "Hey. I was just thinking about you."

"Good thoughts?"

"Always," she stated, leaning back in her chair and twirling the cord between her fingers.

"So, I was just sitting here thinking about this morning…"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, it was pretty amazing."

"Oh, I suppose," she joked, spinning in her chair.

"You suppose?" he chuckled incredulously. "I guess that's why my back looks like I was mauled by a cat. Though I guess in a way, I wa-"

"I wouldn't finish that statement if you ever want a repeat."

"Shutting up now," was the quick reply.

Addison laughed, "But if you play your cards right I may be able to arrange something for this evening."

"That sounds incredible…"

"I sense a 'but' coming."

"But, I was pulled for a stakeout tonight. So, I won't be home."

"Oh," she stopped spinning, and faced forward, "I see."

"Sorry."

"Hey, these things happen. Goes with the territory of dating a hot cop." She tried to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Believe me, I'd much rather be in bed with you tonight."

"Yeah."

There was a muffled conversation on the other end of the line followed by, "Hey, babe, sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go. I'll call you when I get a chance."

"Okay. Be careful."

"I will. Later"

"Bye." Addison replaced the receiver with much less enthusiasm than she had picked it up with. She sighed and looked at the bright side. _At least he called instead of leaving me to wonder where he was or what he was doing. So, I'd say that was an improvement. _ She glanced at her calendar. _But, that still leaves me all alone on a Friday night._ She shrugged those thoughts aside for now, and focused on the mountain of files threatening to topple over on her desk.

"Hey," Naomi greeted, poking her head around her door. "Did you get your invitation yet?"

"What invitation?" Addison asked briefly, glancing up from the paperwork on her desk.

"The one to Dr. Sparrow's ceremony."

"What ceremony?"

"Well, that answers that question," Naomi replied with a roll of her eyes. "Dr. Sparrow is retiring."

"What? I always thought he'd die first."

"So did I. But apparently his new wife, his _twenty-something_ new wife, wants to spend more time with him."

"More likely wants to hurry him along to the grave and get her hands on the insurance money."

"Wait, what happened? I was just listening to Cooper and Violet complain about how you were all bright-and-shiny earlier."

"Okay, first never use that phrase to describe me again. _EVER._ Second, there is nothing wrong with being happy. And third," her face dropped into a pout, "my boyfriend dumped me to spend the night in a cramped van with a bunch of other sweaty men spying on people."

Naomi's brow crinkled in confusion, "What?"

"He's on a stakeout."

"Oh."

"Well, in that case, I guess you're free for dinner?"

"Sure." Addison moved her completed files and found a letter. "Oh, here's the invite."

"You know, you're normally much more organized than this."

"I know, I've just been," she blushed, "busy, recently."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying life."

"No there isn't. It's just that it's been a long time since I've seen you like this."

"Like what? Sexually satisfied?"

"Eww, no!" Nae shrieked, tossing a throw pillow at her. "I was going to say happy, you pervert." Addison smiled as she reached for another file. "I mean, seriously, the last time you were this high in the clouds was with…" Naomi let her voice trail off, as Addison jerked her head up to meet her eyes. She watched as the shadow fell over her friend's eyes as it always whenever her ex-husband entered the conversation.

"Yeah, well," Addison cleared her throat and looked back down at her chart. "Let's just hope this relationship doesn't end the same way that one did."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Naomi grinned in an attempt to lighten the mood, "I've seen Kevin's best friend, he's not your type."

Naomi's laugh was cut short with a pillow to her face.

Derek sighed as he pulled up in front of the house, their plane left in three hours and he had just spent the last five in an OR picking skull fragments out of his patient's brain. She was going to live, but her quality of life most likely just took a drastic nose dive. Domestic violence was something he never understood. If someone was unhappy, why didn't they just leave? He ignored the small voice calling him a hypocrite as he trudged up the stairs to the master bedroom.

"Hey Mer, you ready?" he called. "Hello, we gotta get a move on so we don't miss the plane." Getting no answer, he opened the bedroom door to find Meredith comforting a rather distraught Izzie.

Meredith motioned him out and he retreated to the hall, anxiously checking his watch until she appeared a few minutes later. "What happened?" he inquired.

"I don't know. I've just got her calmed down enough to speak. I've been calling Alex and Cristina, no one is answering," she sighed.

"You know our flight leaves in a few hours."

"I know, but I can't just leave her like this."

"So…what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Let me try calling them again."

Forty-five minutes later, she still hadn't reached anyone, and Derek was pacing by the front door glancing at his watch nervously. "Meredith," he called up the stairs.

She came down as a car pulled in front of the house, "Oh, great, Alex is here." She ushered him up the stairs, murmuring quietly to him the details that she had gleaned from Izzie in between the tears.

Annoyed, Derek glanced again at his watch, realizing that they probably had just enough time to make it to the plane, barring any traffic on the freeway. He debated whether he should just go and tell her to catch the next flight. This was the last one out that would get him there in time for the ceremony and he would be damned if he missed the chance to see Addie, er, say goodbye to Dr. Sparrow.

Just as he was about to take off he heard her footsteps on the stairs. "Okay, I'm ready just let me grab my bag." As she slid the strap over her arm they both heard the tell-tale beeping of her pager. She read the message quickly and sighed. "911. Let me just see what's going on." Derek groaned as she left to grab the kitchen phone.

After a brief conversation, she walked back to Derek with regret in her eyes. The patient I admitted last night needs emergency surgery. Another resident is offering to take it, but this is the kind of thing that could help me become chief resident." She bit her lip. "Why don't you call and book us on a later flight?"

"I can't this is the last flight out before the ceremony."

"Well is it really such a big deal if we miss the ceremony? I mean, we can still have our time together."

"Mer, I'm supposed to make a speech. Remember?"

"So, blow it off. I don't even think I've ever heard you mention this guy in the last three years."

Derek sighed, he'd mentioned him, she probably just wasn't listening. "We've kept in touch over the years, he's been a great mentor."

"Well, I can't just leave my patient. Would you be to upset if I didn't go?"

He shook his head, "No, I understand. You need to do what you have to do." He brushed her hair back behind her ear. "It's okay."

She walked forward and hugged him, burying her face in his chest. "I hope you won't be too lonely," she said, her voice slightly muffled by his jacket.

"Oh," He gazed over her head, his mind already miles away, "I'm sure I'll find something to do."

So there ya go. I know, it only took me like forever and a day, right? Well, I hope someone is still reading this story. I already have the next chapter written and ready to go, so you guys show me love with reviews and I'll post it with in the week. Deal?


	4. Chapter 3

As they say, the best laid plans… This has literally been sitting on my PC all ready to go, I just didn't have the time to upload it. You guys left awesome reviews last time, I should have just followed your advice and updated then. Ah, well better late than never. Enjoy.

LoveandLearn: This is for you.

Walshaholicx3: Thanks for reviewing

LGCoffeeAddict: You update Gorgeous and I'll update something. Deal?

TeamAddek: Well, depends on your definition of soon, but here ya go

goldentail: We shall see.

911-to-love: I think I've heard that before, but I'd completely forgotten about it.

addek-love: Yea, I'm definitely not a Mer lover, she's the reason I haven't see the last three seasons of the show. In my opinion they should have left her in the bay. Ah, well.

jess: I'm glad you found it as well. Hope you like the new chapter.

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Addison tore out of the waiting room after informing a distraught brand-new father that his wife and daughter were both healthy and resting comfortably in recovery. She chanced another glance at her phone and discovered that it was indeed 5:17. Unfortunately the dress she had planned to wear to the event was still at the cleaners, so she had just a little over an hour-and-a half to shower, do make-up, hair, and come up with a completely new ensemble. Lovely.

She ran through the possibilities in her head as she ran to her car. She had just slid into the plush leather interior of her Mercedes and turned the ignition when her phone began to vibrate. She hit the Bluetooth button and issued the standard greeting. Her best friend's voice suddenly filled the car, "Hey, how did the surgery go."

"Both mother and daughter are alive and well. I, however, am screwed as my lovely party dress is still at the cleaners, which closed 25 minutes ago."

"Oooh."

"Uh, yeah."

"What are you going to wear?"

"That's a very good question."

"Why didn't you just pick it up yesterday?"

"Because if you will recall, I was assisting a very dear friend in a tricky procedure."

"Oh, right." Naomi chuckled, "Well, the good thing is that your closet looks like a 5th Avenue showroom so it shouldn't be too difficult to find a suitable replacement."

"You're just saying that so I'll forget that this is partially your fault."

"Maybe. Oh hey, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Oh, sure, change the subject."

"Do you know if Derek and Mark are coming?"

"Oh, that's a wonderful topic," Addison rolled her eyes. "I don't know, why? You want to get all pretty for Mark so you guys can finally do the dirty and release all that pent up hostility you two have for each other?"

"Please, we both know I'd break that boy. Besides that sounds more like your department."

"Funny."

"I thought so. Now answer the question."

"I told you, I don't know. Again I ask: why?"

"Just curious."

"Uh-huh. Well, Mark probably won't, he and Dr. Sparrow had a bit of a falling out, but Derek likely will. He and Dr. Sparrow were always pretty close. They used to go fishing together every month."

"What happened with Mark?"

"Well, he dropped him as an advisee when he caught him coming out of his daughter's apartment at eight in the morning when he went round to collect her for their weekly breakfast. His daughter who was a virgin until she met Mark."

"Oh," Naomi laughed.

"Yea," Addie shook her head. "Listen I just pulled up to the house, I'll see you there okay?"

"See ya."

Addison had just stepped out of the shower and stood before her closet in her black lace strapless bra and panty set from La Perla, and contemplated her choices. Her eyes narrowed as they zoomed in on a black silk spaghetti strapped creation by Dior. She quickly retreated to the bathroom to finish the rest of her preparations.

Addison smiled at her reflection as she fastened the last of her earrings. She looked hot even if she did say so herself. Her phone rang and she grabbed it as she considered which perfume to wear.

She glanced at the ID before answering, "Hey are you on your way? The car will be here any minute." She decided on the Chanel.

"Well, there's a small issue with that," Kevin replied.

"Which is?"

"I'm not coming."

"What?"

"They're calling in all available personnel; we just got a tip about a major transaction going down tonight."

"Isn't there anyone else who can cover for you? There's going to be an open bar at this thing and I intend to enjoy it, which means I'll be open to various sexual activities afterward," she purred.

"Oh, now that's very tempting, but I can't. Besides, you know that I'm not good at this kind of event, remember last time?"

"Yeah, I do. But Archer isn't here this time. And we've moved past that."

"I know, but we're going to need all the help we can get, you can be sure this meeting will be heavily armed and well-protected."

"Heavily armed? I don't like the sound of that."

"I'm sorry, babe, but I can't leave them a man short. If this bust goes well it will be the perfect culmination to the last six months of work. Raincheck?"

"Sure, just…be careful," she sighed.

"I will. I'll make it up to you, I promise." She heard a voice in the background telling him to get a move on. "I gotta go, babe. Love you."

"You too." Addison rang off, just as the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of her car. She knew that the danger was a part of his job, a job that he absolutely adored, that didn't mean that she had to like it. She hated knowing that he was out there like that; it made her stomach twist in knots. He had been shot once, and she didn't want to relive the experience. With a silent plea that he would return to her safely, he grabbed her purse, and sailed out of the door, trying to get the worried frown off her face.

The atrium had been beautifully decorated and Addison marveled a bit as she searched for Naomi and Sam. She soon spotted them over by the reception table and quickly joined them.

"Hey, Addie." They each greeted her with a hug. "Where's Kevin?" Naomi inquired.

"Somewhere with bullets possibly flying near his person? He was called in for an assignment."

"Oh, Addie, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Yea, Kevin's a good guy. He can take care of himself," Sam added.

"Yeah."

"Shall we go find seats," Sam suggested. They all shuffled into the auditorium and found seats in the right center section, with Naomi in the center. Once they were situated they all began to peruse the program, noting all of the well-known physicians who had gathered to honor such a talented surgeon. There was one name in particular, however, that made her heart skip a beat. There it was in black and white, the name that she had doodled all over several binders in med school (though that evidence had been promptly destroyed minutes after writing it): Derek Shepherd.

Naomi noticed her friend's sharp intake of breath, but didn't comment directly on it. "Well, I guess that answers my question."

"Apparently, so."

They sat quietly throughout the various speakers laughing when appropriate, and overall enjoying the ceremony. When his familiar form walked on, Addison couldn't help her eyes sliding appreciatively over his form, encased in a very well tailored Armani suit, that she was fairly certain she had purchased at some point. She began to feel the well-known stirrings in her gut that she always had when he was around, but quickly slammed the door to the mental box she kept all those feelings in and focused on the speech. She smirked as she recalled the memories he related along with him, and actively strived not to let her mind stray outside of those set events. It became a lot easier when she felt the vibration of her phone and read the sweet text that Kevin had sent her. She blushed when he sent her another, this one much more racy. Apparently, the wait she giving him quite a few ideas. She chuckled to herself as she sent an appropriate reply. Why dwell on the past when she had such a promising future ahead of her?

Derek glanced around the room as he took a sip from his wine glass, searching for her face. He would kill for a scotch right now, but he didn't want his senses dulled when he saw her. He had tried to find her in the audience while he was onstage, but was unable to make anyone out through the bright lights. Derek knew that she was here; he had seen her distinct scrawl in the best wishes book. He sighed and was about to turn when a flash of red caught his eye. There she was standing near the refreshment table, wearing a knee length black cocktail dress that accentuated her curves. She looked radiant as always. He took a deep breath before approaching her. He stood there and admired her for a moment before speaking. "Hello."

She turned around startled. "Oh, um," she raised her hand to cover her mouth, "hi. Sorry, strawberry." She swallowed, "Hello."

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek, inhaling her perfume in the process, immediately recognizing it as he trademark Chanel. She pulled back a little and tried to hide her surprise. "Oh, um, okay."

He smiled at her. "I figured I'd run into you here."

"You did?" He just raised his eyebrows while his eyes twinkled. She held his gaze for a moment before looking away. "So, um, where's…where is Meredith?"

"She," he paused to clear his throat, "She, uh, she couldn't make it. She was called in to a last minute surgery before we left." He shrugged, "Hazards of being married to a surgeon."

"Hmm," she began with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, I'm rather familiar with those…hazards." He cast his eyes down, wishing he could retract his statement. He opened his mouth to speak, when she interrupted. "Well, I was in the middle of a conversation over there so…" She gave him a half-smile as she turned and walked away.

He watched her go and drained his glass, once again desperately wishing for something stronger. He sighed, that could have certainly gone better. The last thing he wanted to do was to remind her of his failures as a husband. He wanted to…well he didn't really know what he wanted to do, he just knew that whatever it was it involved the redhead. Derek placed the now empty wine glass on the nearest table as he once again scanned the room. He caught sight of her slipping out onto the balcony. He steeled himself for round two and followed her.

Addison leaned against the railing taking in the beautiful sunset and its reflection on the water. She took a deep breath as the light breeze tossed her hair over her shoulder. From her position she had a perfect view of the ocean and the city she now called home. It was a rare day in that the traditional smog covering had dispersed and she could see for miles. It was peaceful, calming, the opposite of her recent conversation with her ex-husband. He was different; the way he looked at her and talked to her, she couldn't quite put her finger on what was going on, but she didn't like it. Particularly given the fact that they were both dateless. Hence, her abrupt escape. _Oh, well_, she thought as she closed her eyes and raised her face to catch the last few rays of sun, _at least he'll be gone soon._

"Boo," she heard in her ear.

She gasped and whirled around to face him, "Jeez, Derek, I hate it when you do that. Make some noise when you walk would you?"

"Now what would be the fun in that?" he asked with his trademark smirk, leaning against the rail beside her.

"Well, for starters it would have saved you a lot of pain as I'm sure you remember," she stated with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah, it only took nine stitches, besides it didn't even scar. I still maintain it was worth it," he replied, smile firmly in place.

"Yeah, well, Mark's not around to stitch you up this time." She replied, watching him closely for the tell-tale flinch that always came anytime she mentioned his former best friend.

"No, he's not," he replied calmly. "Why, are you planning on hurting me?" he asked, slightly arching his brow, his eyes flashing briefly.

Addison caught the flash and ignored the shiver that went down her spine as memories of their more adventurous nights in bed ran through her mind. She averted her eyes and turned away from him, "I should really get back to the party."

"Addie, wait," he cried, grabbing her hand. "Can't we have a conversation anymore?"

"I don't know, can we?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

He smiled gently, searching her eyes. "I'd like to think so. Why don't we give it a try?" he asked, his thumb lightly caressing her skin.

"Fine," she pulled her hand from his grasp. "Let's chat."

"Okay."

They stared at each other.

"This is the part where you say something," she reminded him.

"Right. Although, you could start as well."

"Hey, this was your idea, so start talking mister."

"I'm thinking."

Addison rolled her eyes, "So how have you been?"

He smiled gratefully, "I've been good. You?"

"I've been _very_ good."

Derek smirked, "It's not a competition."

"Well, clearly, because I'd be winning by a landslide."

He chuckled lightly. They were silent for a moment as she watched him try to formulate his next question. He turned and faced the water, "So, what are you…I mean, are you seeing anyone?"

Addison kept her eyes on the water as she answered. "Yea, yes, I am. He's a cop, S.W.A.T. actually. He's simply wonderful, perfect really.

Derek kept his face impassive as he turned back toward the party, noting her slightly excessive description. "So where is Mr. Wonderful?"

"Oh, he, uh, he had to work today. Some big bust; they're taking down one of the major drug lords in the area and…What? What is so funny?" she inquired, as Derek tried to keep from exploding in laughter.

"Nothing, I'm sorry," he replied, wiping the tears from his eyes. "There's just something so disconcerting about hearing _you_ utter phrases like, 'big bust' and 'drug lords,' he said, unable to contain his chuckle.

Addison narrowed her eyes and swatted at his arm, "Oh, shut up. You're starting to sound like Archer."

"Archer doesn't like him?"

"No, he's made it quite clear that he doesn't approve."

He tilted his head slightly, "Well, maybe you should listen to big brother."

"If I listened to big brother's advice on my love life, I never would have married you." She paused and mimicked his head tilt. "You're right; maybe I _should_ listen to him."

Derek grimaced, "Ooo, ouch. All right, point taken, I'll keep my advice to myself."

"That's all I ask."

Derek once again tilted his head and took a long, lingering glance down her form, pausing at the slight glimpse of cleavage her dress offered, before returning his eyes to hers. "You really do look gorgeous, Addison."

Addison smiled and blushed bashfully; his compliments always had the ability to make her feel like a freshman again. "Thank you, you don't look half bad yourself."

"We make quite the pair. We always did go well together," he stated staring into her eyes meaningfully.

"You're right. We _did_." She leaned in and brushed her lips against his cheek. "It was good to see you." She pulled back to look into his eyes, "Goodbye, Derek." She smiled and turned to go back to the party.

"See you later, Addie." He whispered to her back.

I'm sure quite a few of you have figured out my inspiration for this now, but I have a few twists in mind. Alrighty, I'm putting the finishing touches on the next chapter, so review please. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate them.


	5. Chapter 4

This was not supposed to take anywhere near as long as it did, but I have had a horrible couple of months. I won't bore you with details, but suffice it to say it sucked so if anyone is still reading I would really appreciate a review. Thank you to those who have reviewed the previous chapters. That said enjoy.

Disclaimer: See first chapter

Derek stared out at the water, following the waves and allowing the calmness it always brought him to wash over his body. Being out on the water always tended to center him and bring order to his thoughts, something he desperately needed at this point. Seeing her the other day had done nothing but increase his desire to be near her. It was so comfortable and so easy the way they fell into their familiar bantering. It felt like coming home. That's the way his life was supposed to turn out; to have that perfect partner by his side one that matched him in every way (and if he was honest with himself, bested him in quite a few too), but things had changed.

It wasn't that he didn't love his wife, because he did. She was sweet, kind, fiercely loyal to her friends and she loved him. They had a comfortable life together, there was nothing missing, nothing wrong. Except that it wasn't right. It just didn't fit.

It wasn't what he wanted.

The problem was he didn't know what he wanted. Okay that's a lie, he knew what he wanted, she just didn't want him. Not that he could particularly blame her given their history. He didn't exactly have the best track record with her. Sometimes when he looks back on the way he treated her the last few years in New York and especially when he came to Seattle he can't help but wince. In Seattle his behavior seemed perfectly legitimized she hurt him, so he did the same to her, over and over and over again. And everyone around seemed to support his decision. After all, he was cuckolded in his marital bed by his best friend, she deserved it, right? Okay maybe he was a little harsher than was absolutely necessary, but it wasn't like he could just welcome her back into his heart with open arms. It was tit for tat, that's how relationships work.

Of course if he went further back to their time in New York, his argument kind of fell a part. She was putting in all the effort and he reaped the rewards. He wasn't as involved as he had once been. Everyone in Seattle assumed it was because he had fallen out of love with her, but that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all. She was…his heart. He loved her more than he had the ability to say, though he certainly tried early on in their relationship and marriage. As time passed he became more comfortable and assured that she was his forever, so he may not have voiced it as much but she knew. She had to know. At least he thought she knew. After the "incident" and the move to Seattle, he just buried the love beneath miles of hate, jealousy, arrogance, hurt, and infatuation with the newness of the intern. So, now he was here, they were in the same city and it was time to work on a game plan. For what exactly he didn't know, but a plan seemed like a good place to start. And the quiet calm around him was the perfect setting to do so.

At least that was until he heard the screams from the coeds about twenty feet away. He sighed, there went his peaceful reprieve.

"Admittedly, it's not as secluded as our little pond back in New York, but you must admit the scenery is infinitely better," a voice intoned from beside him, the British accent still strong after all these years in the States.

Derek turned to see the good doctor with his eyes glued to the bikini clad women. Derek chuckled and asked, "Don't you have a wife waiting for you at home, Jack?"

"Hey, I'm married, not dead," he laughed. "And as I recall you have a wife as well, but that didn't stop you from ogling your ex all night."

"What are you..?"

"Oh, please don't insult my intelligence by denying it."

Derek sighed, "Was I that obvious?"

"Stevie Wonder could have seen it. With the smoldering looks you were giving, I'm surprised her dress didn't catch fire."

"She did look gorgeous, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. So what's going on there?"

"What do you mean?"

Jack gave him a sly glance, "Are you having an affair with your ex-wife or just dreaming about it?"

Derek's mouth gaped and he shook his head. "I – I, I'm not, I mean we aren't…"

"So just dreaming about it then."

Derek turned his gaze back out onto the water, "I don't want an affair."

"But?" Jack prompted.

"But," he sighed, "I miss her. I miss my best friend."

"Did you tell her that?"

"I couldn't get her to talk to me for five minutes."

"What happened to you two? I remember a time when you two couldn't keep your hands off of each other."

"I don't know. But, I grew complacent. I just assumed that she would always be there while I worked on my professional career. I figured that once I was chief, I could make up for the missed dinners, birthdays, and anniversaries. Then we could really work on starting our family. We would have everything we wanted. That was always the plan. I guess I just forgot to include her in the process, and then Mark happened so…"

"Don't even mention that SOB to me. If I had my way he would have been castrated long before he had a chance to make a move on Addie. My daughter was inconsolable for three months after he stopped returning her calls."

Derek hid his smirk. "Mark has always been Mark."

"I hear he's in Seattle now."

"Yeah, we're both at Seattle Grace."

"How have you not killed him yet?"

"I forgave him actually. We're…we're friends, again."

"Wait, you're friends with the guy who fucked your wife in your bed?"

"It's complicated, but…he's my brother."

Jack looked at him incredulously, but decided to let it go. "So what are you going to do about Addison?"

"I don't know. I just…I can't get her out of my head."

"That's your problem, mate. You are always in your head."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that it's time to stop thinking and start doing, savvy? Take your balls out of your back pocket and use them."

Derek was quiet as he pondered the good doctor's advice. He felt two drops of moisture hit his forearm and looked up to the suddenly overcast sky. "We better get inside. It looks like a storm is coming."

* * *

Addison was curled on her couch under her favorite plaid flannel blanket with her latest novel in hand, reading glasses on the tip of her nose, and a glass of wine on the table. She could hear her phone ringing in the kitchen, but elected to ignore it. If it was really important they could page her. A few seconds later, she heard the beep indicating she had voicemail. She had just gotten into a comfortable position when the doorbell rang. She sighed, replaced her bookmark and got up to answer the door.

"Hello, gorgeous," Kevin smiled at her as he pecked her lips, and moved past her into the kitchen. Addison grinned and locked the door, before following him back.

"It is really coming down out there." Addison noted as she looked out the windows toward her patio.

"Yea, tell me about it," Kevin quipped, shaking the excess water from his hair.

"Ahh," Addison shrieked, jumping away from him. "Stop trying to get me wet."

"Oh, darlin'," he drawled, pulling her closer, "I know of much better ways to get you wet," he stated wiggling his eyebrows.

"Uh-uh," Addison laughed, pushing him away. "You have to feed me first."

He sighed dramatically, "If you insist," he smiled, pecking her lips.

"What did you bring me?"

"Mexican."

"Ooh, great! Did you remember the salsa?"

"What?"

"Salsa. Did you remember to get salsa?"

"Erm…"

"Kevin. I can't eat quesadillas without salsa."

"Addison."

"Kevin."

He sighed. "You are so lucky I love you."

"I'll make it up to you," she promised, with a seductive smile.

"You better," he yelled as he ran out to his car.

Addison had just settled back on the couch when she heard the knock at the door. She set her book back down and walked over to answer it. She could see his shadowy figure through the glass and smiled as she opened the door. "Wow, that was extremely...Derek? What are you doing here?"

He looked up and his blue eyes locked with hers. He was getting absolutely drenched from the rain, but he didn't seem to care. He was breathing heavily, almost as though he was in pain as he stared into her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated.

"Was that him? Was that Mr. Wonderful?"

"Ya, that was him and he's coming right back, so please. What? What is it? What do you want?"

He looked around as he shoved his hands through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. He leaned against the door jamb as he met her gaze again. "I don't know," he sighed. His eyes dropped down her form taking in her tank top and shorts, and by the time they returned to her own they had darkened considerably. He was now giving her THAT look, one that she knew all too well. A look that was heightened by the flash of lightning behind him.

As it registered, she began to shake her head. "No, no Derek. Go home to your wife." She began to shut the door, but he pushed it back open, biting his lip, and looking at her imploringly.

"NO, DEREK! I am not some slutty intern; you will not make me into the other woman!"

"Addie, I-"

"Go home, Derek," she whispered.

"That's what I'm trying to do."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Because I fucked everything up Addie! I just want to make it right. Please, give me a chance to make things right."

Addison sadly shook her head, as she willed the tears not to fall. "No, go home to your wife." He began to shake his head. "Go," she said firmly. She turned her eyes to the ground refusing to meet his gaze and began to shut the door.

"Addie, please," he begged.

She paused and took a deep breath before placing her palm against the glass and softly shutting the door. She did not look up, even when she felt the warmth from where his palm pressed against hers on the other side of the glass. She simply locked the door and walked away, never once looking back.

Addison walked into the kitchen and sat on a stool at her bar, her head in her hands. She glanced down at her cell phone remembering that she had voicemail. She put it on speaker and allowed it to play. Derek's voice suddenly filled her kitchen.

_::beep:: Addie, hey, it's-it's me. Look I got your address from Sam, we have to talk. I have to tell you that I…I…Fuck...I miss you, baby. I miss you so much that it physically hurts. I just…I don't know what I'm doing, but I need you, Addie. Please. ::beep:: _

The rain continued to fall outside while her tears drenched the marble counter top; the only breaks in the silence were her gut-wrenching sobs.

* * *

I'm not going to say when the next chapter will be up, because I always make a liar of myself. But, reviews speed up the process, so you know what to do.


	6. Chapter 5

Okay, I have no excuse for the length in updating time, though I am fairly certain that it's better than my previous times. I hope that this makes up for the wait.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

* * *

Addison leaned back in her desk chair and turned it to look out of her window. She was bored. Incredibly bored. She had no patients, no office business to take care of. There wasn't even any juicy office gossip to catch up on. There was nothing to do but sit with her thoughts. The thoughts that kept her from sleeping for the last two weeks, ever since his impromptu visit. And with the thoughts came the memories. Memories of cold Chinese food, ferryboats and viewfinders, walks through Central Park, Enza, and steamy shared showers tumbled through her mind.

Dangerous memories.

Kevin had been wonderful. Last night she had come home to find him putting the finishing touches on his chicken primavera and the table romantically set for two, complete with white tapered candles.

_Addison smiled softly as she placed her purse on the counter, "What is all this?"_

"_Hey," Kevin placed his spoon down and walked around the corner to her. "You're early."_

"_My last patient cancelled. What's going on?"_

"_Well," he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I thought that you were due for a little spoiling. You've seemed a little…preoccupied lately, so I thought that we could stay in." He led her into the dining room. "I would cook you dinner, open a nice bottle of wine, and give you a chance to relax." _

"_Hmm," she sat down as he pulled out her chair, "This is wonderful. I'm going to have to find some way to repay you."_

_He leaned down and pecked her lips gently, "I'm sure you'll come up with an adequate form of repayment."_

_Later that night, they lay side by side amidst her exquisitely soft sheets attempting to catch their breath. His eyes roamed the room, eventually settling on her little bear in the corner. He smirked, "Ya know, it's kind of weird that your bear is watching us. I feel like it's judging me."_

_Addison giggled, "She would never judge. Enza is very diplomatic that way."_

"_How long have you had her?"_

"_Oh," Addison cast her eyes to the ceiling, "A lifetime."_

"_Well, I think it's amazing that you've kept a memento of your childhood. She's cute." _

_Addison smiled tightly._

_Kevin propped himself up on his arm and reached over to wipe her sweat soaked locks from her forehead. He let his fingers trail down her face and brushed them across her kiss-swollen lips. He met her gaze and held it for a moment. "I love you, Addison."_

_She ran her fingers through his hair, but didn't break their eye contact. Her lips stayed shut._

_Kevin continued when it was clear that she wasn't going to respond. "I know that you're not ready to say it back, but I think that if we were able to come back together that it was for a reason." He sighed as she continued to stare silently, "I just-I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I'm not going anywhere this time."_

_Addison traced his features lightly, before pulling his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. _

She sighed and twirled in her chair. She would kill for a surgery right now. She really needed to cut someone.

"Knock, knock." Addison looked up to see Naomi step into her office.

"Hey."

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine just a little restless I suppose."

"Yeah me too. Do you have plans with Kevin this weekend?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"I was thinking, why don't we have a girl's night in tonight? Sam has Maya this weekend, so it works well. C'mon, it'll be like old times."

Addison smirked at her, "Fine. I'll get the food."

"And I'll bring the wine."

* * *

Later that night Naomi showed up with the bottle of wine as promised. "Hey, I'm here."

"Perfect timing," Addison called from the kitchen. "The food just arrived. You know where the glasses are."

Naomi settled down onto the couch and Addison brought out the cartons of Chinese food. "Alright chicken with broccoli for you and Hunan chicken for me. We also have crab Rangoon and spring rolls."

"Hot mustard?"

"Of course, here ya go."

Naomi looked at the spread before them. "I'm gonna gain five pounds before this is over."

Addison smirked, "This isn't even half of it. I stopped by Godiva on the way home."

"Oh, you're killing me. What movie are we watching?"

"_Arsenic and Old Lace_ and _Duck Soup_. I needed to laugh tonight."

"Sounds good." Naomi leaned further back into the couch. "What the…?" She sat up and reached behind her, pulling out an old, but well cared for teddy bear. "Oh, my g…Is this Enza?"

"Yeah," Addison mumbled, reaching forward and taking the bear.

"I haven't seen her in years; I can't believe that you still have her."

"Why wouldn't I still have her? She's one of my favorite gifts. Plus, she's so cute," Addison stated, cuddling the bear closer.

"Yea, I know Addie. I remember when you got her. I just thought that given her history that-"

"I am perfectly capable of separating my feelings for the giver from the gift itself." Her hand lightly rubbed the bear's fur. "Besides, Enza has gotten me through a lot of lonely nights. She listens to me without judgment and has never told a single one of my secrets."

"If she did, I think we'd have a problem," Naomi quipped.

"Shut up!" Addison laughed. "You know what I meant."

"So does she still reside on your bed?"

"Of course, that's her place of honor. The only time she was not on my bed was in the trailer. I just didn't want to expose her to that coldness and hostility. And I really didn't want her lying on a bed where he had…been with someone else. That's just creepy."

"Yet_ you_ lay in that bed."

"Only after disinfecting and flipping the mattress and buying a new comforter set, sheets, and pillows. I was desperate, not stupid."

Naomi stifled her laugh. "And after, you know…_it_ happened in New York, did you take her to Mark's?"

"NO!" Addison exclaimed. "That was never my bed. I was merely a guest. But, I couldn't put her back on my bed since that was the scene of my crime, so I took her down the hall and put her in the nurser-" Addison stopped and cleared her throat. "I put her in the spare room." She allowed herself a wistful smile, "She guarded his grandmother's rocking chair."

Naomi saw the growing sadness in her friend's eyes and tried to redirect the conversation. "That little bear has a lot of history."

Addison smiled softly, "Yeah, she does."

"Addie," she hesitated, "Do you think that it's healthy to keep her around? I mean, especially given all the memories associated with her…"

"A lot of those are good memories."

"Okay, but you don't see a problem with keeping a bear that you got from your—I mean what does Kevin think about it? Isn't it awkward for him?"

"He's fine with it. He thinks she's cute." Addison avoided eye contact.

Naomi narrowed her eyes, "Really?"

"Yes." Naomi continued to stare. "He does." Naomi didn't even blink. "He thinks it's great that I saved a memento from my childhood."

"Your childhood?" Naomi repeated incredulously. "I don't exactly consider medical school part of childhood."

"He made an assumption and I saw no need to correct him." Addison stood and walked to her entertainment center. "Whatever it's fine, now are we going to watch the movies or not?" she asked with slightly more than a hint of irritation in her voice.

Naomi shook her head slightly at her friend. She made things so hard on herself. "Let 'em roll."

A few hours later, Naomi had fallen asleep and Addison was watching the credits roll on the second movie. She glanced down at the bear she was softly stroking. She had never even considered getting rid of her. It wasn't Enza's fault that they screwed up, so why should she get punished? Besides, she was much too special to throw away or donate.

_Addison shuffled to the door, the pounding on the wood matching the pounding in her head. "Who is it?" she croaked out._

"_It's Derek."_

_Her brow furrowed as she stifled a sneeze in the crook of her elbow. "Didn't you get my message?" she called through the door._

"_I did."_

"_Then what are you doing here?"_

"_Are you going to let me in?"_

"_No."_

"_Addison."_

"_I told you not to come."_

"_You also said that you were sick."_

"_I'm…" she began coughing uncontrollably. "I'm fine."_

"_Oh, yeah you sound just peachy. Open the door."_

"_Derek…"she whined._

"_I'm not leaving until you let me in."_

"_I look horrible," she said, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders and running a hand through her hair in a futile attempt to tame it._

"_Hey, I've seen you after pulling multiple all-nighters. There's no way you can look worse than that." He smirked picturing her eye roll, and then he heard a sigh followed by the unlatching of the door. _

_The door opened revealing her red-rimmed eyes with a matching nose, her tangled hair pulled into a messy ponytail on top of her head. She wore a ratty red "I love band" t-shirt over gray sweatpants, covered by a purple fleece blanket with Bugs Bunny slippers. _

_Derek took all of this in before once again meeting her annoyed gaze. He cleared his throat and swallowed his laughter. "I stand corrected."_

_Her eyes narrowed and she moved to close the door. He quickly wedged his foot in and winced as she slammed her weight against the frame. "Okay, I deserved that. No more jokes, I promise." _

_She had no choice but to relent as she launched into another series of unpleasant coughs. She retreated to the couch and lay back on her makeshift pallet. "What are you doing here, anyway?"_

"_You're sick, so being the perfect boyfriend that I am; I came to take care of you." He carried his bags into the kitchen and set them on the counter. "And I brought all of the essentials: ginger ale, orange juice, saltines, and homemade chicken soup from my mother's recipe. It's guaranteed to cure anything, even the flu." _

"_We both know that there's no cure for the flu."_

"_You haven't had my mom's soup."_

"_I'm not hungry," she pouted, as he returned with a steaming bowl._

"_C'mon, just take some of the broth," he encouraged. She appeased him with a few spoonfuls before lying back down. "That's my girl," he murmured, lightly stroking her cheek. "You're burning up, did you-?"_

"_I just took some."_

"_Okay," he brushed her hair from her face. "Oh, I almost forgot. I brought something else for you." He quickly disappeared then walked back into the room, holding an item behind his back. He offered her a bashful smile. "When I saw this I had to get it for you." _

_He produced a teddy bear with fur the same color as her hair, dressed in salmon pink scrubs, a white coat with a stethoscope around its neck, and the softest fur she had ever felt. Addison smiled softly and cuddled the bear to her chest, "Thank you. She's beautiful." He sat back down beside her. She smirked as she stroked its fur. "I think I'll name her…Influenza." _

_Derek began to chuckle as he urged her head back onto his lap. "I think the fever has gone to your head."_

"_What? Are you laughing at me? Influenza is a great name," she mumbled as she closed her eyes, snuggling the bear closer. _

"_And what are you going to nickname her? Flu?"_

"_No, that just sounds dumb. I can call her Enza for short."_

"_I can't imagine what you have in mind for kids' names," he smirked as he began to stroke her hair once more. _

"_Shut up," was the sleepy reply. "It's a great name. Unique, even." He laughed softly, watching as her heavy eyelids slid shut. "Thank you for taking care of me," she said as she drifted off._

"_There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He continued to stroke her hair as her breathing evened out. "I love you, Addison," he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. _

_The next morning, Addison opened her eyes as the sunlight streamed through her bedroom drapes. She clutched Enza to her as she rolled over in bed, staring at the sleeping figure beside her. She smiled softly and ran the back of her hand against his cheek. "I love you, too."_

Addison shook her head as she hugged the bear closer, unable to stop the single tear that made its way down her cheek. No, getting rid of Enza was not an option.

* * *

More to come relatively soon. You know what to do. Please review, it's what keeps me going!


	7. Chapter 6

Okay, so it's been a little bit since I updated this. What can I say, life got in the way. No, I'm not about to start waxing poetic, just thought it was time to finish this. So, I thought I'd get my feet wet with this quick chapter.

Derek sat in his desk chair staring out his windows lost in thought. LA was an absolute disaster. In hindsight, he really didn't know what he expected to happen. He knew what he wanted to happen, which involved seeing what her bedroom looked like, or her couch, dining room table, living room floor…he really wasn't picky. He just wanted her. But really, he should have known that it wouldn't be that easy. They had both moved on with their lives, hell he was married to his dirty mistress and while Addison may be a cheater, he knew that she wasn't just going to fall into bed with him. Seriously, what did he even have to offer her? He shows up, tells her he misses her and….what? What was she supposed to do with that information? Jump for joy?

And what about Meredith? The girl he's loved forever. The one he gave up everything for. The sweet girl who according to his mother was perfect for him and a much better match. The one who just walked through his office door.

"Hey."

"Hey," he looked up to see her dressed in her street clothes, with jacket and bag thrown over her shoulder. "Are you on your way out?"

"Yea," she shifted in the doorway, "Aren't you coming?"

He sighed, "No, I still have a lot to get through before I can go."

"Can't you finish it at home?"

"There're too many distractions there. Plus, it's more trouble than it's worth to drag all this home, accomplish nothing, and bring it back tomorrow. It's easier just to stay here."

She sighed, "Alright. I'll see you at home later?"

He looked up and smiled, "Yeah, this shouldn't take me too much longer."

"Okay," she hesitated slightly, and then turned to leave.

"Hey," he called out, before she cleared the door. She turned back to him and he gave her his McDreamy grin, "I love you."

The tension immediately eased from her face and she smiled, "I love you, too."

"I just don't know if love is enough", he whispered to the closed door. He sighed as he turned back to the paperwork in front of him, when he dreamed of being chief of surgery when he was younger, it certainly didn't involve so much time spent behind a desk. Of course he imagined a lot of things turning out differently than what reality provided. He was granted a brief reprieve in the form of his cell phone. "Derek Shepherd."

"Hey, Uncle Derek! It's me!"

"Oh, hey…" he trailed off awkwardly as he racked his brain to figure out which one of his nine nieces was calling him.

After a short pause the caller sighed, "It's Emily."

"Oh, hey, Emily, what's up?" He shifted the phone to his shoulder as he reached for another file.

"I was calling to see if you were coming to the graduation."

"Oh, sure. Who's graduating?"

"Me. I sent you the invitation like three weeks ago and you never responded."

"Oh, I'm sorry, you know things have just been crazy around here."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed, "Things are always crazy with you," she added under her breath.

Derek pretended not to hear her. "So, when's the big day?"

"Next Friday. The ceremony is in the morning so everyone is planning on getting here by Thursday."

"Alright, Em. I'm putting it on my schedule now. We'll be there."

"We?"

"Yea, me and Meredith."

"Oh, yea, right. Well, I'll see you guys next week."

"See you then." He hung up the phone, then immediately picked it back up to dial home.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey. Are you on your way home?"

"No, I still have a lot to get through here."

"So, let me guess, you're spending the night at the hospital again."

"I didn't say that."

"Well, then why are you calling?"

He leaned back in his chair, "A husband can't call to check on his wife?"

"No, he can." He could hear the smile creep into her voice. "It's just, well, you haven't done it in a while."

"Well, maybe that's something that should change."

"Yea?"

"Yea. What are you up to?"

"Not much. Everyone is out right now, so I'm actually feeling a little lonely."

"Really?"

"Yes, so maybe you should hurry home, so that we can take advantage of this unique situation."

The invitation was blatant and yet… "Actually, I really need to finish up here, but I have a proposal for you."

"I'm listening."

"What do you think about us going away next weekend?"

"Just us?"

"Just us."

"Where are we going?"

He could practically feel her grin through the phone. "Connecticut."

"Co-Connecticut? I was actually thinking of some place a little warmer. Cancun, maybe?"

"Well, I have another reason for wanting to go to Connecticut. My niece is graduating next week and I promised that we'd be there."

"Oh." Her enthusiasm level was rapidly dropping.

"But, the graduation is on Friday. We would have the rest of the weekend to ourselves."

"Well, that could be fun. Hey, I just heard about this little bed-and-breakfast out there. The beds are amazing and the room service is great. Apparently once you enter the room you don't want to leave. They say…"

Meredith kept talking, but Derek had stopped listening the second she mentioned the bed-and-breakfast. He was lost in memories of to-die-for stuffed French toast with fresh maple syrup, a bed that felt like a cloud, thousand count sheets that were the only thing on his skin for days, and most importantly a luscious redhead who giggled as he fed her strawberries. And how those giggles turned to moans when he let his hands slide between her-

"DEREK!"

He jerked back up right in his chair, eyes wide gripping the phone tightly as though she could sense what he was thinking. "What? I didn't do anything."

"Didn't do…Were you even listening to me?"

"Of course I was, you want to stay at a bed-and-breakfast, but you now I'm not really a B-and-B kind of guy."

"But-"

"And actually I should really get back to work, because this stack on my desk is threatening to topple over."

"Derek-"

"I wouldn't expect me home anytime soon."

"Right, well, you enjoy your work."

"Wait, Meredith," he started.

"No, it's fine. I'm going to bed; I'll see you in the morning." With that the line went dead.

Derek stared at the phone for a moment before hanging it up. "Well, that went well."

A thousand miles and a couple of states south, a red-head was just making her way home after a long day at the hospital. She sighed as she dropped her bag down by the door and slipped out of her Jimmy Choos. "This was a bad day to break in new shoes," she lamented as she massaged her aching feet. As soon as she sank back into the cushions on her couch the house phone rang. Too tired to move from her position, she let it go to answerphone. A smooth masculine voice soon filled her ears.

"Addison? Addison, if you're there, pick up."

Addison groaned, but couldn't bring herself to move from her current position.

"Okay, guess you haven't made it home yet. Look, I got pulled to cover a surveillance shift, so I won't make it home tonight. Sorry. I'll make it up to you. Love you, bye.

Addison sighed and propped her feet up on the coffee table. "Oh, well," she shrugged as Milo hopped into her lap, "Looks like it's just you and me tonight." As soon as she found a comfortable position, her cell phone went off. Thinking it was probably Kevin again, she pulled herself up and padded back over to the door to grab her phone from her purse. Without looking at the caller id, she clicked the answer button and greeted him with a, "Hey, babe."

"Hey, Aunt Addie!"

Addison's brow furrowed, "Emily?"

"Yea! At least you still recognize my voice."

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

"Uncle Derek didn't."

"Honey, your Uncle Derek is a brilliant surgeon, but he'd forget his head if it weren't attached."

Emily giggled, "So, have you reconsidered?"

"Oh, sweetie, I don't know. This could get very awkward."

"I don't care, it wouldn't be right without you. After all you are the one who helped me with my entrance essay.

"Em-"

"Please Aunt Addie? You won't have to get me a gift if you come."

"Nice try, but we both know that you'd get a gift either way."

"Pwease, Auntie Addie," Emily pleaded in her best little girl voice. "Do you really want to miss the graduation of your little 'chickpea'?

Addison sighed, "Wow, really pulling out all the stops here. Okay, I'll be there."

"Thank you," came the excited reply. "Everyone is getting here Thursday, I can't wait to see you."

"Likewise, sweetie. See you soon." Addison placed her phone on the table and rose to enter her kitchen, heading straight for the liquor cabinet. As she settled back onto the couch with her full glass of merlot, she turned on the TV for a little white noise as her mind drifted.

This was a bad idea.

Okay, so a quickie chapter. If anyone is still following this story, I'd appreciate a shout out. Even if it is to yell.


	8. Chapter 7

Hey guys remember me? I'm not dead! In fact I'm another year older as today is my birthday! So I decided to cast off my woes and do something that makes me happy, namely writing. Things should start to pick up from here, so I hope you like the next installment. But, without further ado, read. And don't forget to review.

* * *

_Good air in, bad air out_.

The plane touched down on the runway, the slight jostle bringing her out of her reverie. She looked out of the window at the familiar skyline. She was home.

The collection of baggage went smoothly and soon she was in a town car making her way to Connecticut. Addison leaned back against the cushioned leather seats as the landscape sped by. She had a novel that she could finish, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate. This was crazy; she was walking into the lion's den. This wasn't her family anymore; it didn't even make sense for her to be here. She sighed, but she couldn't _not_ be here either. Plus, it seemed that fate had taken a hand in getting her to New York, she had been invited to speak at a meeting of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology on its new recommendation for treatment of mothers in preterm labor. Ironically enough, she was subbing for a good friend of hers who had gone into labor at 30 weeks and was now herself on bedrest. She sighed again; it seemed she was destined to be here one way or another.

"Hey, are you okay?" She turned to look at her fellow passenger. "That was a big sigh," he continued.

"Yea, fine, just thinking.

Kevin reached over and grabbed her hand. "We don't have to go you know. We could just make this a mini-break for the two of us and hole up in what I'm sure is a decadent hotel room until your conference."

"No, no I want to do this. I miss them so much. And I know that I screwed up, but it's just not fair that Derek gets them." He gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, I know that you don't want to hear about my ex-husbands family. I think you're amazing for coming out here with me."

"Well, I wasn't going to let you walk into the lion's den alone. Besides, you needed an extra person to carry all those gifts. Did Christmas come early this year?"

"Shut up," she gave him a playful shove, "Those are necessary. It's a tradition, you'll see. And I'll make it up to you later in our fabulous hotel room," she stated with a wink.

* * *

"We're here Ms. Montgomery."

"Thank you," Addison smiled at the older gentleman who held the door open for her and made her way up the front stoop. Addison took a deep breath before she knocked on the door; Kevin rubbed her back as they waited for it to open.

"Aunt Addie!" Clarie, Emily's little sister screamed. She promptly threw her skinny arms around Addison's waist before running off screaming, "Aunt Addie's here, Aunt Addie's here!"

Nancy promptly arrived at the door. "Addie, come in, come in," she stated ushering them inside, "You look great," she gave Addison a hug, and turned to Kevin giving him a once over, "and so do you." She smiled flirtatiously, "I don't believe I've had the pleasure."

Addison grabbed his hand, "Nancy, this is Kevin," she smiled up at him, "my boyfriend."

"Well, Kevin, it's very nice to meet you," she stated and they shook hands before they were bombarded by 13 kids, plus Claire, all clamoring to hug their Aunt Addie.

"Aunt Addie, what did you bring me?" Claire asked, tugging on her skirt.

"Claire," Nancy scolded.

"Now, what makes you think I brought you anything?" Addison asked slyly.

"Cuz, you always bring stuff," Ben chimed in.

"Please, Aunt Addie?" Cynthia asked.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Okay, okay," Addison laughed and held her hands up as the plea began to increase in volume. "Maybe there is something in that bag over there."

There was a general squeal as the kids attacked the bag, each pulling out their own perfectly wrapped gift. The thanks that she received was deafening and brought a huge smile to her face. She turned to Kevin, "That's why it was necessary."

Nancy chuckled and shook her head, "You spoil them."

"I haven't seen them in forever, and it's my prerogative as an aunt."

"Ex-Aunt, isn't it?" Carolyn stated as she came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Or have you forgotten?"

Addison turned to look at her former mother-in-law. "No, Mrs. Shepherd, I haven't forgotten. How are you?"

"I'm fine dear, just a bit puzzled as to what you're doing here."

"I invited her," Emily spoke up, coming to embrace Addison in a hug. "After all, she is my favorite aunt," Em stated with a wink to Addison.

"EX-Aunt," Carolyn clarified, "Meredith is Uncle Derek's wife now, Emily."

"I'm well aware," Emily replied with a well-hidden roll of her eyes. "She keeps calling me Erica," she whispered to Addison as she led her into the sitting room. "As if I look like my eight year old cousin." Addison stifled a laugh as they sat on the couch. "Hey, who's the hottie by the door?"

Addison turned and held her hand out for him, "Sorry, this is my boyfriend Kevin. Kevin this is Emily."

Kevin held out his hand, "Nice to meet you Emily, and congratulations."

"Thanks, Kevin is it?" Emily replied with a flirtatious smile, "I'm glad you could make it."

Addison yanked her niece back down onto the couch, "Down girl."

Emily laughed as the rest of the family poured in. As everyone settled into seats and the conversation began to pick up, there was another ring of the doorbell. "I got it", Claire yelled as she ran to the door, Nancy hot on her heels. "Uncle Derek!" she screeched. Addison did her best not to stiffen. Claire ran back to the room, "Everyone, Uncle Derek's here!"

Derek walked in with his trademark grin and accepted a round of hugs from the family. He stopped when he reached his ex-wife, "Addie?"

"Hello, Derek," Addison replied smoothly, maintaining eye contact.

Carolyn interrupted the moment by walking in between them to where Meredith was standing nearly forgotten by the door. "Aren't you kids going to greet your Aunt Meredith?"

"Hi, Meredith," they chorused dutifully without looking up once.

"Hi, guys," she replied with a tentative wave.

"Come in dear, have a seat." Carolyn led her to a loveseat across the room, "Don't mind the kids, they just received some new gifts. Some feel that they need to buy affection instead of earning it."

Addison fought to keep her face from turning red. Derek cleared his throat as he looked from his mother back to Addison and then to the man at her side. Addison followed his gaze, "Oh, sorry, Derek Shepherd, this is my boyfriend Kevin Nelson, Kevin this is Derek."

Kevin stood and extended his hand, "It's nice to meet you, Derek.

"I'm her ex-husband," Derek filled in as he took in the slightly taller man.

"I know, I've heard a lot about you." Kevin replied easily.

"Hmm, I can't say the same." Derek stated still shaking the other man's hand, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"Well, that's not really surprising is it? Seeing as how you two don't really keep in touch," he responded with a slight narrowing of his eyes and strengthening his own grip.

The family was watching the interaction like a well-played tennis match.

"Oh, we're in touch more than you would think," Derek retorted with a smug smirk.

More than one eyebrow went up at that last statement, Addison's included.

"Well, I know that I can't be the reason for this tension because I just got here." All heads swerved toward the entryway, where Amelia was standing.

"Amelia," Nancy, Kathleen, and Julia called out, standing to embrace their sister.

With the attention moved from them, the men gave each other one last bone crushing squeeze before releasing their hold.

Derek moved to fix himself a scotch, before plopping next to Meredith on the love seat in his mother's recently vacated seat. "What the hell was that?" Meredith whispered harshly.

"Nothing," Derek replied, "forget about it." He narrowed his eyes as he watched his own sister greet Kevin with more enthusiasm than she had shown him in years. Who the hell did this guy think he was?

Amelia sat next to Addison on the couch. "How did the surgery go?" Addison asked.

"Kid's okay, I'm sure he'll be out of the ICU by the time we get back."

"What surgery?" Derek asked.

Addison and Amelia turned to him in surprise, "Uh, 14 month former 30 weeker with history of spina bifida and hydrocephalus came in with VP shunt malfunction. I pushed back my flight so I could do the surgery before I came out here." Amelia turned back to Addison, "Kim wanted me to ask you if you could squeeze her in when you get back. She's at 29 weeks now and she's pretty nervous."

"Yea, no problem."

"So you just left immediately after performing surgery on a 14 month old? Kind of irresponsible don't you think." Derek interjected.

"No, actually, I saw him through post-op, made sure he was tucked in in the PICU, and ensured that the pediatric team and parents had all of their questions answered. Also unlike you I trust my fellow surgeons and respect that they can care for my patients." Amelia stood up, "I need a drink."

"Well, that didn't last long." Derek smirked.

"Derek, Amelia you both stop it. Now." Carolyn stated with her patented stare, "And Amelia sit down. We're about to leave anyway. Everyone go get your things together." She turned to look at the couch, "Addison, if you and your, um, friend, would like to go on ahead we'll meet you there. Frankly, I don't know why you came to the house at all, I'm sure it was out of your way," she continued with false sweetness.

Addison stood at the obvious dismissal and hugged Emily, "I'll see you later."

Amelia stood as well, "Yea, I think I'll go with Addie. I already sent my cab off anyway."

"Well, you could ride with-" her mother began.

"No trust me, I'd rather be with Addie." She reached down and grabbed Kevin's arm, "C'mon copper, let's go."

* * *

The graduation was uneventful, though Emily Collins most certainly had the loudest cheering section. The family had returned to the homestead to commence the graduation festivities. Lunch was served, as was cake and ice cream, and the numerous presents including a car from her parents and a new laptop from Aunt Addie. Amelia brought her a box of condoms.

Derek looked to Meredith to present Em with their present and she looked back at him in confusion. "What?"

"Where's our gift?"

"I dunno. What did you get her?"

"Wait," Derek sat up on the couch, "You mean you forgot to get my niece a graduation present?"

"No, I didn't forget because I was never asked." Meredith snapped.

"I didn't think that I needed to. It seems implied that if you're going to a graduation party someone needs to bring a present." Derek took another sip of his scotch, "I never had to ask Addison to bring a gift," he muttered.

"Do I look like Addison to you?"

"Certainly not." He spoke into his glass, as Meredith walked off in a huff.

Addison pretended not to have heard a word.

As more of Emily's friends showed up the level of talk and music increased to an exponential level, and the backyard was near filled to capacity. Add to that the six younger children that were hopped up on sugar from the cake and the noise level was rapidly reaching deafening. Addie and Nancy were chatting in the living room, when the doorbell began to ring incessantly. Nancy began to rise to answer the door, but her mother shooed her back into her seat. "Sit, sit dear, I've got it." She glanced through the window on the side of the door and paled, "Derek!" she cried.

Derek reached the door just as his mother opened it to the two officers standing on the stoop. "Hello officers, is there a problem?"

"Are you the owner of this home, sir?"

"No, it belongs to my mother. What's wrong?"

"We've received complaints about the noise. I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down."

"Oh, well you see, it's my niece's graduation party-" he began, but was interrupted.

"Sir, I don't care if it's for the Queen of England, quiet it down or shut it down. Or you can receive a citation if you like."

"I don't think that's really necessary-"

"Josh?" They all turned to see Kevin making his way to the door. "Josh Thomas is that you?"

"Kev? Kevin, man it's been years, how are you?" he asked with a manly embrace.

"I'm good, you?" Kevin replied patting the other man on the back.

"Good, good, what the hell are you doing here?"

"My girlfriend's niece graduated, we're here for the party. Why're you here?"

"Been getting complaints. Hey don't worry about it. Some people around here aren't happy unless they're complaining about something. Just don't get any louder, cool?"

"Yea, thanks man. I'll give you a call later, maybe we can grab a beer." Kevin extended his hand.

"Sounds good," Josh replied as they shook. "You folks have a good night," he nodded to the ladies as he and his partner walked back to the patrol car.

"Thank you, Kevin." Carolyn gave him a genuinely warm smile.

"No problem, Mrs. Shepherd" She took his arm as she led him back to the party, "Let's get you some more cake dear."

Addison and Nancy watched them walk away, "You know I could have handled that," Derek spoke up from the door. Addison and Nancy exchanged glances, "Yea, we saw what a great job you were doing," Nancy snickered as she led Addison back to the party.

"Aunt Addie, will you play jacks with me?"

Addison turned to see Brianna standing there with a bag of jacks in one hand and the trademark ball in the other. "Sure, sweetie." They had gotten up to fivesies before the ball went rogue and rolled into the kitchen. "I got it." Addison uncurled her legs and followed the ball into the kitchen where she watched it roll under the stove. _Dammit_. She laid flat on Carolyn's sparkling floor and spotted the ball just underneath and reached out for it, but it was just out of her reach. _If Bizzy could see me now_. Addison stretched out a little farther to grab the ball. _Gotcha._ She was about to get up when she heard voices enter.

"I still can't believe that you forgot to buy a present," came the male voice, followed by the sound of ice clinking into a glass.

"Okay, for the last time, you didn't _ask_ me! Stop being such a jerk," replied a squeaky female.

_Great, I'm trapped by the golden couple_. She pulled her legs up and huddled against the kitchen island as best she could, hoping that no one would walk around to the other side.

"I'm not being a jerk; the jerk is that cop boyfriend of hers out there." She could hear liquid splashing over the ice. _Scotch_.

A sigh. "You know he actually seems very nice." _Thank you, Meredith._

"What the hell is he even doing here?" The ice rattled, and then clinked as the glass was set back onto the counter.

"Well, people generally invite their significant others to events like this."

"Significant other." Another clink of the ice. "She's so out of his league. And then the way he injected himself into the situation with the police."

"He was just trying to help out."

"Just being presumptuous is more like it. I had it handled."

"You know what? I don't know what your problem is today, but you need to get over it. Everyone here is trying to have a good time, so stop being such a dick."

Addison felt the reverberation as the door slammed. She waited until she heard the door close for a second time before she got off the floor and brushed herself off. She turned around and found herself staring into the crystal blue eyes she knew so well. "I thought you left."

He kept her gaze as he took another drink. "I didn't."

"I see that." She shifted uncomfortably as he leered at her. "You know Kevin really was just trying to help."

"Well, no one asked him for his help. I was-"

"I know. You were _handling_ it. Well, Derek here's a little tidbit for you. The way you were handling it would have had the party shut down and a citation in your hand. So, just get over yourself."

"You know that he's not good enough for you."

"Who the hell are you to judge that?" She placed her hands on her hips.

"He's a cop, Addison."

"He's SWAT," she corrected.

"He's a cop. Stop trying to class it up."

Addison threw her hands in the air. "Why are you acting like such an ass? What the hell is your problem?"

"You know what my problem is," he looked her steadily in the eye.

"I'm not talking about this here," she started to move toward the back door.

He quickly stepped around the island and blocked her exit. "Then where _are_ we going to talk about it, huh? When?"

She stepped back. "We have nothing to discuss. If you'll excuse me." Addison walked around him to the door. Her hand was on the doorknob before he spoke again.

He still stood looking towards the stove. "It's not working out. Between Meredith and me," he stated quietly. Derek turned around to face her back and ran his hand through his thick locks. "We're not compatible. We're," he sighed. "I don't know. I don't know what we are. But I'm tired of trying." He walked up behind her and whispered in her ear. "I'm getting out." He nuzzled her neck, before returning to her ear. "I just thought you might like to know."

Addison took a deep breath before turning around. "Okay, one you're drunk, so I wouldn't believe anything that you say right now. Two, I am in a happy, fulfilling relationship with a man I love. Three, you should keep that to yourself because trust me no one is interested in that information. Least of all me." After giving him one last look of contempt she let herself out of the house.

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Hey, so the next chapter is burning through my hard drive aching to be posted so give me reviews and I'll post in a week. C'mon it's my birthday!


	9. Chapter 8

You guys are amazing! The reviews made me feel great. I'm so glad to know that there are people still reading this story. Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

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"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Derek banged his head against the wall.

"Ooo, abusing yourself, can I get in on this?" came a voice from behind him. "Actually, scratch that I don't want to have anything to do with you and self-abuse," Amelia amended with a shudder.

Derek turned around to glare at his sister, "What are you, twelve?"

"No, that would be your wife." She deadpanned.

"You've been hanging around Addie too much."

"Not possible. And besides, you left yourself wide open for that one." She flopped down on the couch. "So, I'm definitely not the touchy feely type and I know that we hate each other most of the time, but you kind of seem like you need to talk." Her statement was met with silence. She leaned back and folded her arms, "Or you can continue knocking your head into the wall until you cause some damage. Jason says they just got a new saw over at Mt. Sinai that I would love to try out."

"Like I would let you anywhere near my brain," but he still walked away to sit in the armchair.

"Well, you wouldn't exactly be in a position to argue," she smirked.

They sat in silence for five minutes. Derek shifted under her unwavering gaze. "Would you please stop staring?"

She didn't.

"I'm not going to tell you anything."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, I'm not."

Amelia smirked.

"Stop smirking."

She smiled.

"Stop it!"

She grinned.

"I messed things up with Addison, okay?!" he yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"No need to yell big brother," she smirked. "And everyone knows that so why are you…" she trailed off and then burst into laughter. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

Derek squirmed uncomfortably.

"You must seriously be delusional if you think she is willing to do anything with you."

"Why would I have to be delusional?"

"Are you freakin' kidding me? After the way you treated her? You acted like she was a burden or an irritation to you. Someone for you to come home and screw when you needed a release, look nice on your arm at dinner parties and not expected to complain. Hell, I lost count of the number of times I heard you say, 'Not now, Addison', I can't imagine how she felt."

"Has anyone ever told you that you really need to filter?"

"Plenty of times, but freak that. You need to leave Addison alone."

"I can't do that," Derek stood up and began pacing.

"Sure you can. Just pretend like you're married again. She could have shown up wearing a Day-Glo suit with flashing musical lights and her hair on fire and you wouldn't have noticed. Just go back to that."

"I can't," he repeated quietly.

Amelia watched him pace for a while. "Are you the reason she high-tailed it out of here yesterday?" When he failed to respond she took that as a yes. "She left so fast I'm surprised there weren't skid marks in the street," she murmured to herself. She looked at him again, "So, what did you do?"

"What makes you think I-"

"Cut the crap. I'm assuming this isn't just about the pissing contest you had with Kevin, so spit it out."

Derek sighed and then flopped back into the armchair and looked down at his hands. "I may or may not have insinuated that Kevin wasn't good enough for her, and that I was leaving Meredith, and that I was open to…whatever if she was interested."

Derek looked up to see Amelia staring at him, open-mouthed. "I would have slapped you so hard your head would still be spinning. What possessed you to do that?"

"I just, I miss her. I still care for her."

Amelia shook her head and stood up, "Derek that ship has sailed, burned to the water line, sunk, and been buried under a million tons of silt, never to be resurrected. She may have committed the first sin, but you lit the match." With that she turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway to look back at him. He sat dejectedly in the chair, his head in his hands. "Derek," she started softly, he looked up at her, "Derek, she's happy, I mean really happy. It's been a long time since I've seen her like this. You're drowning and you're reaching out for a life raft, but if you really care for her as you say you do you won't drag her down with you. Let her go." With that she left.

Derek sat and looked out the window. There was only one other person who could really understand what he was trying to do. Only one person who knew what it was they truly had. He had been told multiple times in his life that he couldn't do something, and each time he proved them wrong. This wasn't about sex, they were meant to be together. They were DerekandAddison and they don't quit.

He was brought out of his musing by the ringing of his cell phone, "Shepherd." He was wrapping up the call when Meredith walked in, "Okay, I'll see you around seven. Bye."

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, Steve Kim, he's just been named chief of staff and he invited me out to dinner."

"Another thinly veiled job offer?"

"Probably, but Steve and I were once good friends so it'll be nice to see him anyway."

"Did you forget that we were supposed to meet up with my friends tonight?"

"That's tonight?"

"Um, yea," she sat on the arm of his chair.

"Well, we could do lunch tomorrow before we leave," Derek suggested.

"Actually, we can't, they're leaving in the morning for Jamaica. Remember? The trip we didn't have time to take?" she added under her breath.

"Well, Steve's catching the redeye tonight. So, why don't we do this, you go meet up with your friends and I'll have dinner with Steve."

"So, it's our last night in New York and we're going to spend it apart?" she asked with a sigh.

"Tell you what, I'll try to meet up with you after my dinner, okay?" he finished with his trademark smile.

"Yeah, I guess."

He stood up, "I promised Ben I'd take him fishing." Meredith nodded and turned her lips toward his and he kissed her cheek, "I'll see you later."

Addison barely heard the phone ring, but she definitely noticed when Kevin rolled out of bed. She groaned and reached out for him, "Come back."

"What the hell happened?" Kevin shouted into the phone, beginning to throw on pieces of clothing. Addison became fully awake quickly as she sat up in bed and pulled the sheet around herself. "What's his status?" He slammed his fist into the wall and Addison jumped, "Fuck! He wasn't supposed to be there, he's supposed to be on vacation!" He walked out of the bedroom and into the living area of the suite; Addison quickly slipped out of bed and grabbed a robe from the door. She found him with his head buried in his hands seated in the armchair by the window. "Yeah, I understand. How's Haley doing?" A pause, "Of course, I'll be on the first thing smoking heading that way. Yea, see you soon." He ended the call and let his phone drop to the floor.

Addison made her way over to the chair and rubbed her hands across his shoulders, "What's going on?"

"Brian's been shot."

"Your partner, Brian? What happened?"

"Sting operation. The bastards got the jump on him and shot him in the back. He's in surgery now." He reached for his phone, "Haley's a mess and you know she just started her second trimester, he'd kill me if anything happened, I gotta book at flight back."

"Or you could just use the jet."

Kevin turned to look at her, "What jet?"

"It belongs to my parents but this is a difficult situation so I'm sure they'll make an exception. I'll call and make the arrangements while you get packed, then I'll get my things together."

He stopped and turned, "No, Addison, you have your conference. It's important."

She placed her fingers on his lips, "You are more important."

He grasped her hand and then pulled her in for a soft kiss, "I love you for that, but I'm not going to let you ditch the conference. I'm just going to support Haley and my brother-"

"And I'm going to support you," she interrupted.

"You are supporting me, and if you insist on skipping the conference you will make me feel incredibly guilty, and do you really want to send me to my friend's bedside with a guilty conscience?" She pouted at him and he brushed her hair from her face, "Besides it's only for one day, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, fine, let me make some calls."

Several hours later, Derek arrived at the Four Seasons for his dinner. The maître d showed him to his table where Steve was already waiting. As soon as he saw him, Steve stood and offered his hand, "Shepherd, long time no see."

"How are you doing, Steve."

"I'm good, please sit down." Both men sat and placed their drink orders.

"I must admit I was surprised to hear that you had moved to Seattle."

"Well, you know it was time for a change." Derek shifted slightly, "I needed to get out of New York."

"Yea, I heard about you and Addie, too." He chuckled mirthlessly as he took a sip of his scotch, "Took a long time for me to believe that one. I mean you and Addie, you guys were like what we all aspired to be. I remember when you guys were newlyweds and we were all scared to walk into an on-call room unannounced, for fear of what we might find. You were the perfect couple." He sighed, "But as you said things change. And I hear you're remarried now."

Derek sipped his drink, "Yea, I am. You and Sheila still together?"

Steve leaned back in his chair and smiled, "Yes, we are. Going on fifteen years now." Derek couldn't help but notice how Steve's eyes sparkled when he talked about his wife. He remembered when that used to be him.

"…and so, now she's going crazy getting the nursery together. I keep telling her that we've got time, we're only at fifteen weeks, but I might as well be talking to the wind. She's nervous because we've waited so long to start. Makes me wish Addie was still on this coast."

Derek took another drink, "You should call her; her cell number hasn't changed. I'm sure she'd be happy to help."

After they placed their dinner orders, Derek excused himself to go to the restroom. While walking past the door to the restaurant, he noticed a sign advertising an obstetric conference highlighting speaker Addison Montgomery. He turned to walk into the conference room, but stopped himself. So far his heavy handed attempts had done nothing but back-fire in his face. Maybe it was best to give her a little time. He'd wait for some sign to move forward. Derek turned to make his way to the bathroom and ran right into someone. He reached out to steady the person and found himself looking into blue-green eyes.

"Addison?"

"Derek?" They stared at each other in surprise for a few moments, before Addison shook his hands off of her. "What are you following me now?'

"What? No, no, I didn't even know that you were here." He looked her up and down, "You look beautiful."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Come to proposition me again?"

"No," he sighed, "Actually, I want to apologize for that. I was completely out of line, and you didn't deserve that." He ran his hand through his hair, "I've made my bed; I should lie in it."

"You're right, now if you'll excuse me," she tried to brush by him, but he reached out and took hold of her hand. She firmly refused to acknowledge the tingle that went through her before she extracted her hand, and glared at him.

"I'm sorry," he held his hands up. "I'll keep them to myself. I just want to be friends. We used to be best friends, remember? Even before we became lovers."

"Yea, I remember. I also recall how devastated I was when I lost them both," she replied quietly.

He shifted slightly closer, "How would you like to have him back?" Her eyes shot to his, "Your best friend, I mean."

"I would love that." His face broke into a grin. "But I don't think that's a good idea."

"Addison-"

"There's too much between us to go back. No matter how much we may want to. I'll see you around Derek." With that she walked back into the conference room.

Derek returned to his table in a semi-daze. He was his normal charming self, and anyone who didn't really know him wouldn't have noticed a difference, but he was barely paying attention. He smoothly turned down the expected job offer (which was much more lucrative than even he was anticipating), wished Steve a safe trip, and promised to keep in touch. As he walked to the valet stand he checked his watch and noted that he had plenty of time to meet up with his wife. While searching his pockets for his ticket he was distracted by music coming from the ballroom. Next to the door was the sign for the end of conference mixer. And he smirked to himself.

The party was in full swing and Addison was in the mood to take advantage. Her run in with Derek earlier had put a damper on her mood and she was determined to enjoy herself.

"May I buy you a drink?" Addison turned to see a guy that she had made eye contact with earlier; blonde hair, green eyes, deep baritone voice, and a muscular body that looked very nice in Hugo Boss. Now, she was committed to Kevin so she wasn't looking for a hookup, but there was nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting, right? Addison smiled, but before she could answer she was interrupted by another voice.

"No, actually, I'll be purchasing her drinks," Derek said smoothly, sidling up next to her at the bar.

"And who are you?" the gentleman asked, eyeing Derek warily.

"I'm her husband," he replied with an easy smile.

"Oh, sorry, man," the guy said instantly backing up.

"No problem." Derek watched the guy walk off, before turning back to look at a seething Addison. "What?"

"_What?_ What the hell was that?"

"Oh, come on, that guy was only looking for one thing. I was just saving you the trouble." He grinned, "As the song says, that's what friends are for."

"Did you not hear me earlier? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Derek Shepherd. I don't need a knight in shining armor and I certainly don't need you hovering near me every time I turn around." She paused to take a breath and a sip of her drink. "Tell me did it ever occur to you that I may be looking for the same thing? A little…healthy release?"

"If that's what you're looking for I would be happy to oblige you. After all, we both know I'm very talented when it comes to such things," he retorted smoothly, gently grazing her thigh.

"Well, Dr. Shepherd when you can provide a consent form signed by your wife I would be happy to schedule an appointment. Until then, I do believe I'll keep looking. Excuse me." With that she picked up her drink and sashayed away, being careful to add a bit more sway to her hips as she knew he was watching.

While she knew she had no intention of cheating on Kevin, it was awfully fun getting Derek all riled up. Addison smirked to herself as she quashed the nagging feelings that thought produced, and continued to enjoy the party.

Several hours and many drinks later, Addison made her way on surprisingly steady legs to the elevators. As she glanced around the posh hotel, she noticed a very familiar figure slumped over his drink at the bar. She hesitated for a moment before decisively striding forward and slipping onto the barstool next to him. She glanced at him briefly then turned her attention to the mirror behind the bar. "You know if you're trying to drown yourself, I'm afraid you'll need a slightly larger glass. I'll be happy to find one for you," she added as she stole his drink for a sip.

"I just I can't help thinking what if we hadn't given up so easily. What if we had tried harder to save our marriage?"

"Hey, we did try. Or at least I did. We gave it our best shot, but I've moved on. We've both moved on."

"Have we really though? I can't stop thinking about you. I know I fucked up." He chuckled mirthlessly, "I fucked up a lot. But I'm trying to make it right." He grabbed her hand and held it in his own. "Please give me a chance to make it right. Let me fix us, Addie. You said earlier that we couldn't go back no matter how much we wanted to. How much _we_ wanted to. You want this just as much as I do."

Addison shook off his hand and glared at him. "I've said it before and I'm saying it again: Go home to your wife, Derek. There is no us to fix, you made sure of that." With that she stood and stalked from the bar, leaving him fumbling behind her. She stabbed the button for the elevator angrily, willing the machine to move faster.

"Addison. Addison, wait!" he called, but she ignored him, quickly sliding into the metal box with the plush interior. She rapidly selected her floor and leaned on the button for the doors to close, but he slipped easily into the elevator.

"Don't come in here! Get out, GET OUT!" she cried, pushing against him, however all she managed to do was push him against the cold steel doors that firmly cut them off from the outside world.

"Addison, please just listen to me," he pleaded.

"No, Derek, no! I don't want to hear anymore. No more lies, no more games, no more calling my house, just stop with the McDreamy bullshit!"

"Fine!" he stated, now raising his voice. "Let's get down to the hard, cold facts. Truth is this isn't a game to me and I'm not lying. I made a mistake and I'm trying to correct my life. I can't get you out of my head, Addison." She scoffed and began to turn away from him when he grabbed her by the arms. "I miss you," he quietly uttered, before dipping his head for a forceful kiss.

She pushed him away from her. "Fuck you."

He backed her up a few feet and gathered her to him once again, staring into her blazing blue eyes. "I need you," he whispered before once again stealing another kiss, this one lasting a tad longer as she felt herself melt a little into the embrace.

She soon gathered her strength and pushed him away with more force than before, "Fuck you!"

Both were breathing heavily as their gaze locked once again. He stalked forward like a hungry lion closing in on his prey and she steadily retreated until her back slammed into the wall of the elevator. He advanced until there was less than an inch of space between them and he yanked her to his body. He could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears and the war that was taking place behind her sapphire depths, before he opened his mouth to deliver the killing stroke, "I love you."

As his mouth descended to hers he felt her sag in his arms, and he knew he had won the battle even before she started responding to his feverish kisses. Her hands dove into his dark curls as he began to kiss his way down her jaw and elegant neck, even as his hands pushed up at the skirt of her dress, drawing patterns along her inner thighs. The elevator gradually slowed to a stop and dinged, indicating their arrival on the 35th floor. He pulled away from her and took a few steps back before gallantly extending his hand and leading her down the hall to her room not resuming their activities until the door clicked softly shut behind them.

When it was over, no words were spoken. The room was completely quiet aside from the hum of the air conditioner and their heavy breathing. Both lay on their backs staring at the ceiling as they felt the last of the tremors leave their bodies. Derek turned his head on the pillow to watch her profile. He smirked as he reached over and turned her face to his. She stared at him for a few moments, before shifting onto her right side to face him fully, pillowing her hands beneath her cheek and studying his face. He returned her gaze and then slid his left hand under her, wrapping it around her waist to rest on her hip pulling her closer to him. She rested her left hand on his chest, and he breathed a content sigh, drifting off to slumber as his hand gently caressed her hip.

Addison lay awake, unable to sleep with the cold metal of his wedding ring burning into her skin.

The last portion of this was the second scene I wrote for this story. It feels great to finally post it. Hope you guys like it. And hey I mostly kept to my schedule. Review please.


	10. Chapter 9

Alright, I am determined to finish my fics in 2013. This is one of my resolutions, but I figured why wait to the New Year when I could start now. Enjoy and review!

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The morning light began to stream through the heavy hotel curtains, alighting on a male in happy sated slumber and a female who hadn't slept a wink. The slight buzzing from the nightstand caught her attention and she leaned over to grab her cell before it disturbed her bedmate. She quickly silenced the alarm before slowly extricating herself from the vice grip she found herself in. She stood briefly at the side of the bed holding her breath as he stirred, only releasing it when he molded himself around her pillow and sank back into a deep sleep.

She slipped silently around the room picking up her discarded pieces of clothing. She quickly pulled her dress on before throwing everything into her suitcases and zipping them up. She briefly considered doing her customary check to ensure she wasn't leaving anything, but rapidly decided that if she was it could be replaced. Again she hesitated, then scribbled a note which she left on the bathroom counter. She threw her purse over her shoulder picked up her shoes in one hand and the handle of her suitcase in another and let herself out of the room. Once in the hall she calmly slipped into her shoes, made her way to the lobby, checked out, and stepped into her waiting town car. It was only once the car had driven several blocks and the hotel was no longer in sight that she allowed herself to freak the fuck out.

Derek awoke several hours later to an insistent buzzing in his head. He groaned as he realized it was his phone. He picked up the offending device and was about to chuck it across the room when he saw his wife's picture on the screen. He sighed and answered, "Hey."

"Hey? _HEY?_ That's your answer? Where the hell are you?" came her shrill voice.

He rubbed his eyes; he could already feel a headache brewing. "Would you calm down?"

"Calm down? I woke up this morning to find out that not only did my husband ditch me and my friends without so much as a call, but he didn't even come home last night!"

"Meredith, I told you I might not be able to make it," he said sitting up and starting to search the room.

"I didn't realize that included not making it home." She sighed, "Plus, your mother is pissed at you too. You had her worried."

"Just her?" he teased.

"Shut up." He could hear her smirk through the phone. "But seriously where are you? Our plane leaves in like four hours."

"Don't worry, I'll be there in time to catch the flight. Just pack for me okay?"

"Fine. Bye."

"Bye."

Derek ended the call and looked down at the screen. 11 missed calls, seven from Meredith and four from his mother. He set the phone back on the nightstand and glanced around the room again. "Addie?" he called out hesitantly. When he received no answer he swiped his boxers from the floor and pulled them on. "Addison?" he padded into the living area of the suite which was also vacant. He briefly thought that she may have just gone out for coffee, then he saw the open closet and missing luggage. "Damn." He muttered to himself.

He made his way to the bathroom and turned on the shower; while he had taken one last night it wasn't exactly about getting clean. He studied himself in the mirror while he waited for the water to heat up. He had definite sex hair, a bite mark on his shoulder, and a hickey over his clavicle. When he stretched he felt pinpricks on his back so he was pretty sure he had scratch marks as well. He grinned at his reflection; he hadn't felt this great in a very long time. He noted a piece of paper on the counter and read:

_D-_

_The room has been taken care of, checkout is at 11._

_-A_

He smirked and stepped into the now steaming shower, whistling a familiar tune. "Their eyes met over the cadaver…"

As Addison strode out of LAX into the bright California sunshine, she took a deep breath of the smog filled air. She was home. Whatever happened in New York was staying in New York. She stepped into the waiting town car and settled in for the 45 minute drive home, allowing herself to take a much needed nap. When she arrived home, she carried her luggage to her bedroom and immediately began to strip for a shower. When she pulled her dress over her head she caught of whiff of Yves St. Laurent cologne.

_As soon as they entered the room, he had her pressed against the door his mouth attacking hers possessively. When air became an issue, he broke off the kiss and moved to her neck kissing his way to her breasts, while his hand returned to its activities beneath her skirt. He gently stroked the silk of her panties before pushing them aside and dipping his fingers into her…_

Addison shook her head hard. No, thoughts like that were going to stay in New York. They had no business here in LA. Here she had the perfect boyfriend and was happy. She quickly shed the rest of her clothes, and stepped into the shower. She scrubbed her body thoroughly with the scented body wash Kevin loved, and then just let the water pound on her back as she leaned her forehead against the tile.

_She squealed as he pushed her up against the shower wall, laughing as he shook his head between her breasts, which turned to gasping as he took a nipple in his mouth. _

She turned the water temperature to cold, and then stepped out when she was sufficiently cooled down. She dressed in a green summer dress and made her way to the hospital. As she exited the elevator, she caught sight of Kevin leaving a room just down the hall.

"Kevin."

He turned immediately at the sound of her voice. "Addison." He pulled her close for a hug. "I am so glad that you are here."

"How is he?"

"The bullet ricocheted through his belly and lodged near his spinal cord. He lost some intestine." He sighed and ran his hand over his face, "The brain surgeons here refused to touch him. They just keep saying let's wait and see. They just keep giving him steroids."

She sighed. "Well, that's standard after an injury like this, the steroids will bring down the inflammation so…"

"Just stop! Stop with that stupid wait and see crap. That's all I've been hearing for the last 14 hours, so just stop!"

Addison stood there stunned as he paced away from her. "Kevin," she started hesitantly, "You have to understand…"

He rounded on her, "No, I understand. I understand that my partner got shot because he didn't have any backup because I wasn't there. He was alone because I was off having fun in New York. Now he has a bullet near his spine that no one will take out, and we don't know what kind of damage he actually has since he hasn't woken up yet. Haley won't leave his bedside and I can barely even get her to drink water. If something happens to the baby, Brian will kill me whether he can walk or not." He plopped into the nearest chair, "I don't know what I'm doing."

Addison sat down next to him. "You are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. You are here for your partner and his family. I know that you feel guilty because you were not here, and I won't waste my breath telling you not to feel that way, but this is not your fault. There is nothing that you could have done." She took his chin in her hand and turned his face towards her. "What you will do is continue to be here for your brother and his family and whatever happens, we will deal with it. Right now his body needs time to recover so we will wait. And hope."

Kevin gave her a tired smile before pulling her into his chest for a tight embrace. "God, I missed you." They stayed like that for several minutes before they pulled apart. He brushed a stray hair from her face, "Hey, I'm sorry about before. I was-"

"You were stressed and overwhelmed. It's okay. And hey, don't worry about Haley. I'm not the best neonatal surgeon on the west coast for nothing. You worry about him, I'll take care of her."

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," he grinned.

"And here I thought it was for my amazing sexual skills."

"Well, those too."

Addison stood up, "Now come on."

Kevin looked up at her in confusion, "Where are we going?"

"We are going to go get Haley something to eat and once she's settled, we're taking you home for a shower and a change at least."

"Are you trying to tell me I stink?"

"Well you are a little ripe."

He grinned and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Alright, c'mon."

That night as they settled into bed, Kevin pulled her close to him. She tucked her head into her spot in the crook of his neck and breathed a sigh of content. She was just starting to drift off when her phone began to buzz. She grumbled to herself as she picked it up and immediately felt her stomach clench as she saw the face on the caller id.

"Do you need to get that?" Kevin inquired sleepily.

Addison paused momentarily. _She could feel the pressure building for what would be her third (fourth?) orgasm of the night when her concentration was broken by the buzzing of a phone. "Should you get that?" He looked up at her with a devilish grin, "Hell, no." He flipped her over so he once again had the dominant position. "I'm busy," he finished as he delivered a powerful stroke that sent her over the edge._

"No, definitely not." Addison stated firmly as she hit ignore.

"Good," he wrapped his arms around her tighter.

Addison smiled to herself. It was good. It was time to leave the past where it belonged and focus on her present. She had made a mistake (Again), but she could still salvage her relationship. She sighed as she wiggled her way into her nook and he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

She was back where she belonged.

* * *

Okay, once again trying to ease myself back into this. Life sucks, so review and give me a smile.


	11. Chapter 10

So, um, I don't even really know what to say here. It's been forever and a day, and I have no excuse other than my muse took an extended leave of absence and failed to leave a forwarding address. This chapter has actually been done for a little bit, I'm just not completely happy with it. Truthfully, I'm still not sure it's there, but I've gotten wonderful reviews lately that encouraged me to post. So thank you so much to those who are still reading/following/reviewing, you guys rock and totally make my day.

* * *

"Hey, man," Mark called out as he breezed past his friend on the way to the coffee pot at the nurse's station. He grimaced slightly at the bitterness, but he'd just finished a 5 hour procedure and was in no mood to stand in line at the coffee cart and unfortunately had no intern to do it for him.

"Hey," Derek responded absently.

"How was New York?" He turned to look at his friend.

Derek struggled to suppress his smirk and responded with a cool, "It was fine."

"Fine?" Mark repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine." Derek confirmed.

"What's fine?" Meredith asked as she came up beside the two and began to fill her own mug with coffee.

"I was just asking about the trip. How was it?"

"Oh, it was just great. Let's see the kids still all hate me. Derek forgot to buy Emily a gift and blamed me. The police were called on the party, and then Derek got into a pissing match with Addison's new boyfriend. And to top it off Derek goes AWOL and doesn't answer his phone for like 14 hours on our last night there, totally bailing on me and my friends and leaving me to deal with his fourteen nieces and nephews and his mother who wants to know why we don't have any grandchildren for her yet. Yea, it was a blast," she finished giving Derek a hard stare.

Derek just sighed, "I already apologized for missing dinner with your friends."

"Well, an apology doesn't just get you off the hook," she huffed, reaching for her pager when it starts going off. "I gotta go." She leans in for a quick kiss on the cheek before scurrying off.

"Addison was there?"

"Yea."

There was silence as Mark just stared at Derek for a moment. "What?" Derek finally asked.

"Pissing contest?"

"It wasn't like that. He is just annoying as hell and kept butting in on family matters. I don't even know why he was there."

Mark smirked, "Maybe to keep his girlfriend company?"

Derek scoffed. "His girlfriend. He is nowhere near her league; she could do so much better."

Mark shrugged, "Well she did pass up all this," he started, gesturing to himself, "so I guess she's taking what she can get."

"That's not funny," Derek told him with a sharp glare.

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was." Mark cocked his head. "Or maybe the problem is that you're picturing someone different with Addison." He folded his arms and stared the other man down. "Someone more like, I dunno…you?"

Derek turned and broke eye contact, "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is. Do I really need to remind you that we're divorced."

"No." He paused, "Do I need to remind _you_?"

"Okay, I'm done with this conversation." He turned to make his way to his office. Unfortunately, Mark wasn't deterred.

"Well, I'm not. What's going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked in an irritated tone.

"You're acting weird, being all broody and pouty. And you're distancing yourself with Meredith. You're starting to act like you did in New York."

"So, what is this your warning that you're going to sleep with my wife again?" Derek snapped as he pushed open the door to his office.

"Hell no. For once I'm in a happy committed relationship. Plus the current Mrs. Shepherd is nowhere near as hot as the former. And stop trying to deflect. What's up? Is this about Addison?"

"Why are you so hung up on me being in love with Addison?" Derek asked in exasperation.

"I'm not! I'm just pointing out that it seems that history is repeating itself and that you need to…Wait, what did you just say?"

"What?"

"What did you _just_ say?"

"Nothing." Derek avoided eye contact as he sat in his desk chair.

"You're in love with Addison?"

"That's not what I said."

"Actually you did. I said nothing about love; that was all you. Freudian slip, perhaps?"

Mark leaned his hands on the desk and fixed Derek with a glare, "Exactly where were you for those missing 14 hours?"

* * *

After a blissful morning spent in her boyfriend's arms, Addison dropped Kevin off at the hospital and checked in on Haley before going into the practice. After being gone for a few days, she had a very full schedule waiting for her. This she was thankful for; it reduced the opportunities for recent memories to creep into her consciousness.

"You're hiding something," Naomi noted, eyeing her friend with suspicion. Throughout the day, Addison would pause, as though remembering something, take a deep breath, blush, and shake her head as though waking from a dream.

Addison startled and turned to face her, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. What happened in New York? Was there a problem at the convention? I knew I should have gone with you. Something always-"

"Nae, breathe. Nothing happened, the conference was fine."

"Then what happened? Why are you so out of it?"

"I, uh, I just had my usual run-in with Derek's mom at the graduation."

"That's not it. As you said, that's usual. This is something different." Naomi looked at her with concern, "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Naomi scoffed as she opened the refrigerator, "Oh, you are so not fine. You know, you might as well tell me what you did because you know that I'm going to find out anyway." She grabbed a bottle of water then turned to face her friend.

Addison sighed and leaned her palms against the island. She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes, "I did something really bad," she whispered.

"Ah, come on," Naomi said jokingly, knocking her hips into Addison's, "It can't be that bad."

Addison swallowed. _Her fingers dove into his curls as she pulled him closer to her, her thighs gripping his hips as they moved in perfect rhythm._ She took another deep breath, "It really is."

"Alright, what did you do that was so terrible?"

Addison opened her eyes and turned to face her friend, the person who had always been there for her and had never judged her. Except in her last indiscretion. "I-" As Addison looked into Naomi's eyes, she felt herself falter. Could she really tell her this, what would she think of her? "I…" Addison sighed, "I went to Junior's and I ate an entire strawberry cheesecake by myself," she mumbled.

Naomi laughed out, "Jeez, is that all? That's nothing that a little time on the treadmill won't cure. I thought you were going to say something huge, like you cheated on Kevin or something. In which case I would have had to kill you, because you guys are so perfect together." She chuckled to herself as Addison smiled weakly. "Oh, Addie, you're such a drama queen sometimes," she said shaking her head as she walked out with her bottle of water.

Addison kept her smile in place until Naomi rounded the corner, then she dropped her head into her hands.

"Liar."

Addison looked up to see the curly-haired shrink walking into the kitchen. "What?"

"Liar. I don't know what just happened, but it's pretty obvious that whatever it is involved you lying to Naomi."

Addison furrowed her brow in confusion, "How do you…?"

"You get this look on your face whenever you're keeping something big, and particularly when you're lying." Addison just stared. "What? I'm a psychiatrist, I'm trained to notice these things."

"Well, I've never really been the best liar," she stared down at her hands.

Violet grabbed her water from the fridge and turned to look at the red-head. "Look, I know that you generally like to talk to Sheldon when things are…not going how you want them too, and I know that we're not really friends or anything, but if you need to talk, my door is open."

"Thanks, Violet, but I'm ok."

Violet shrugged, "Well, the offer stands. Now if you'll excuse me, this child is pushing on my bladder. See ya around."

* * *

Derek broke eye contact and began shuffling the papers on his desk. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, let's see, you disappear into the city under mysterious circumstances, can't be contacted for hours at a time, and come back looking like the cat that got the canary while your wife looks pissed. You can see how that would cause an innocent bystander to wonder," he finished with a smirk, settling into a chair in front of the desk.

Derek looked up annoyed, "Please make yourself comfortable."

"Oh, thanks." Mark leaned back in his chair, laced his fingers together behind his head, and propped his feet on the desk knocking over a picture of Meredith. Derek glanced at it briefly before shifting the picture to the side and shoving Mark's feet from the desk. He then returned his attention to the papers in front of him.

Mark chuckled, "Interesting."

Derek glanced up at him, "There's nothing interesting here."

"Oh, but there is.

"There was nothing mysterious about my reasons for going into the city. I had a meeting-"

"I'll bet you had a meeting."

"With Steve Kim," Derek continued, ignoring the remark. "He'd just been named chief of staff and tried to lure me back to New York with a very lucrative job offer."

"Okay, I'll be generous and say that took, oh, three hours, four at the most. That still leaves at least 10 hours free."

"What are you a private investigator all of a sudden?"

"No, just able to do simple math."

Derek stopped pretending to read and looked Mark in the eye. "Why do you care?"

"I'm trying to stop you from doing something stupid, but I'm getting the feeling that I might be too late." He shifted and sat up in the chair, "And I'm tired of beating around the bush. What happened between you and Addison in New York?"

Derek sputtered at the direct question, "Noth-nothing happened. We-"

"Derek, I know you better than almost anyone else. Stop bullshitting me and spit it out."

Derek got up and walked around his desk, before perching on the side of it. "Fine. I—I told her that I was tired of trying with Meredith and that I was getting out and I may have indirectly propositioned her."

Mark leaned forward and placed his head in his hands before dragging them down his face. He took a deep breath and slapped his hands on his thighs before standing up slowly, "Well, okay then."

His right hook caught Derek square in the jaw and knocked him flat on his ass.

"What the hell was that?" Derek sat up wiping the blood from his face, "I'm bleeding here."

"You're lucky I didn't break it, asshole." He rolled his eyes before reaching down to help him up. "Why would you do that to her? I thought you were done screwing with her head."

Derek walked over to the mirror. "I'm not screwing with her. Look at this, I'm gonna need stitches."

"Oh, quit whining, pretty boy, I'll sew you up. Although I should let an intern do it, like you did for me. And you should just leave her alone. She is happy; let her get on with her life."

"She's not happy," he muttered.

"And how would you know that?"

"I know. I know her."

"Well then you should also know that she would have to be certifiable to get mixed up with you again."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Derek asked exasperatedly.

"Are you really that stupid? You were the worst husband ever Derek! Then when she followed you out here you treated her like something stuck to the bottom of your shoe. I swear the only husband worse than you would have to be Henry VIII."

"We weren't all bad you know. There was over a decade of good times mixed in there. I don't think it's such a crazy idea. The kind of love that we have doesn't just end."

"Really? And what was her response to your little declaration?"

"She basically told me to go to hell."

"Exactly." He grabbed him by the shoulders, "Derek you're my brother, but hear me and understand. Addison is done with you. She has moved on. She is never coming back to you again, and you need to let her go and figure out what the hell is wrong with your relationship with your wife and fix it."

Derek pushed him away, "And see that's where you're wrong. She does love me, she still wants me, and that's why she slept with me!"

Mark was stunned, "What?"

"Yea, you wanted to know where I was for those ten hours? I was having some of the best sex ever with the love of my life. That's where I was! So stop talking about shit you know nothing about."

Mark fell back into his chair. "Oh."

"Yea, 'oh'."

"I was not expecting that."

Derek scoffed, "Clearly." The men sat in silence for a while. "So, are you going to sew me up or what?"

* * *

Addison stopped by the hospital again after work. When she was unable to convince Kevin to come home with her, she returned to her house intending to drown her thoughts in a bottle of merlot she had been saving. However, as she pulled into her driveway, it seemed that there were other plans in store for her.

She let herself into her home and looked around, "Hello?"

Naomi peeked her head out of the kitchen, "Hey, you're just in time. I'll fix you a plate."

"What's going on?" she asked stripping out of her jacket and hanging it up.

"Well, you seemed a little down today, so I thought we'd have a girls night."

"Personally, I'm here for the booze. Nice stock by the way, Montgomery," Charlotte drawled, dropping into an arm chair, martini glass in hand.

"And Naomi promised to feed me," Violet mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Thanks for the support, guys."

"Well, I'm here for you, girl," Nae said, handing Addison a plate of her mouth-watering vegetarian baked ziti casserole and a glass of wine. "We have good food, good company, and a movie. And don't worry the food is low-cal," she added with a wink.

"What movie?" Addison inquired, taking a sip of wine.

"An Affair to Remember."

Addison nearly spit out her wine. "Are you okay?" Naomi asked, rubbing her back.

"Um," Addison cleared her throat, "Ye-yeah, it just went down the wrong pipe." She smiled reassuringly at Naomi and studiously avoided Violet's gaze.

About half-way through the movie, the silence was interrupted by the beeping of pagers. Everyone reached for their purse, but Naomi and Charlotte were the (un)lucky ones.

"My last-chance IVF couple just went into labor," Naomi summarized.

"Family is contesting DNR document. Lawyers called," Charlotte read.

"Oh, the life of the Chief," Addison teased with a smirk.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and threw back the end of her drink. "Thanks for the drink, I'm sure I'll be thankful for it when they start with all that legalese." She gathered her things and met Naomi at the door, with Addison trailing behind.

"Sorry, girl," Naomi said, "We'll chat tomorrow, yea?"

"Sure," Addison confirmed, shutting the door behind them. She returned to the couch and stretched out, purposefully not glancing Violet's way. "Let's finish the movie shall we?"

As the credits rolled, Violet reached over and grabbed the remote stopping the DVD. "Well, Deborah Kerr's secret is out, you wanna reveal yours?"

"Not particularly," Addison started tidying the room, bringing the plates and glasses to the kitchen.

"Are you sure about that? Because you look like you're going to explode." Violet followed her into the room, watching as she loaded the dishwasher.

"Of course. I'm fine." Addison took a large gulp of wine.

Violet smirked, "You know what F.I.N.E. stands for don't you? It's-"

"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. I saw the _Italian Job_ too, thanks."

"I'm just saying in this instance it seems to fit."

Addison rolled her eyes, "Whatever, I'm fi- I'm okay."

"Okay." Violet took a seat at the bar and just watched Addison until the kitchen was spotless.

Addison ignored her and continued to clean. Once she was finished she took a glance around to see what else needed to be done.

_He teased her bringing his lips within millimeters of her own before pulling back, laughing at the growl of frustration that was forced from her throat, before gasping himself as she flipped them over taking control as the dominant slipping her tongue into his mouth as her hand trailed slowly down his abdomen to her destination._

She shook her head hard to dispel the memory, and anxiously searched for something else to do.

"Having trouble finding another distraction?" Violet smirked, having watched the entire scene.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying?"

"Many times." Violet shifted in her seat, "Mostly when I was hitting too close to home. Either way, I choose not to let it affect my self-esteem." She paused, "Most of the time anyway. And especially not now because I know that I'm right. Now spill."

"Alright." Addison sighed, "Something…something happened…in-in New York."

"Okay."

"I-" she faltered. "You can't tell anyone this." Violet nodded. "I went to my niece's graduation party and Derek, my ex-husband, was there with his new wife.

"The intern he left you for," Violet filled in.

Addison's eyes darted to her, "Well, resident now, but yea. Anyway, he was being a total jerk and ass to everyone, especially his wife. Somehow I was caught in the kitchen and privy to a very personal conversation between him and his wife and after she left he told me it wasn't working, that he was getting out, and that he thought I'd be interested."

"Wow. And what did you say?"

Addison shrugged, "I told him off. And told him I was absolutely not interested."

Violet nodded, "Well I can certainly see how that can have you upset, particularly given your history, and…," she trailed off, looking closer at the red-headed woman. "That's not it, is it?

Addison shook her head shamefully, "No." She sighed, "He showed up at my hotel after Kevin left and he was being extra charming and telling me everything that I had been dying to hear from him for years, and then we were in the elevator and he was so close and smelled so good and felt incredible and then I-I," she ran shaky hands through her hair, before gesturing again, "I-I couldn't think with him that close and I was pushing him away, then he told me he loved me and, and…" she trailed off.

"And?" Violet prodded gently.

"And-and then I-we, he…" She sighed, "Next thing I knew, I was lying naked in bed next to my ex-husband."

"What happened the next morning?"

"I left before he woke up."

"Have you talked to him?"

Addison shook her head, "No, he's called, but I won't pick up."

"Why not?"

"What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"How do you feel about what happened?

"I-It was a mistake. I love Kevin, I am _in _love with Kevin. Kevin is great, he is wonderful, loving, caring, attentive, everything I want in a man."

"But?"

Addison looked at her in confusion, "What but?"

"It sounds like there should be a but to that statement."

Addison sat down at the kitchen table, "But Kevin is not Derek." She placed her head on her folded arms, "I am so messed up," she mumbled to the table.

The ladies sat in silence until Violet broke it with a question she couldn't hold in any longer. "Well, was he any good?

"What?!" Addison's head popped up so fast she was almost dizzy. "That's your question?"

"Hey, I'm full-on second trimester here. Soooo?" she urged.

"It was-" She closed her eyes briefly.

_Her head was thrown back in a soundless moan as her fingers clawed desperately at the sheets. His mouth did not cease its movement as his fingers joined in the pleasurable assault, forcing a groan from her throat._

Addison turned to face Violet. "It was multi-orgasmic."

"Multiples?" She inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Multiples." Addison confirmed.

"Sounds like it was worth it to me," Violet said with a smirk.

Addison smiled her first real smile all evening, "Why aren't you being more judgmental?"

"Well, for one I am a licensed board-certified psychiatrist. I spent years learning how to listen without judgment. Two, I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is. I am in no position to judge."

* * *

So, what do you think? ::Anxiously awaiting feedback.:: Be kind, I'm low on scotch. ;-P


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